REVIEW: Ballast Point Habanero Sculpin IPA
I gotta be honest, you guys. I was not excited about this review. I made eye contact with this beer and tried my best to ignore it. I thought you might enjoy a nice review of Boulevard’s ginger radler, or maybe the latest sour from Crooked Stave. But some jerk-o in the liquor store recommended it and used the words “special” and “limited”, which is basically like telling a crack addict that this week’s shipment is extra cracky. I had to review it, which unfortunately means I also had to drink it.
In general, I love Ballast Point. Any brewery that can go from a perfect coffee vanilla porter (Victory at Sea) to a perfect IPA (Sculpin) is doing something right. Plus they advertise that they are “dedicated to The Craft”, which is a film that I too am greatly devoted. But I’ve never once had a good pepper beer. Most of the time they are just too jarring and overwhelming to be enjoyable. I was hoping that their Habanero Sculpin could change that.
Cracking it open, the smell is pure IPA. Bitter, floral, and no heat or spice anywhere. This is a good sign. Unfortunately, the first sip is an explosion of taste that can only be described as “the Devil’s barf.” I started uncontrollably shaking my head no. I had visions of the scary chick from The Craft belittling me. I regretted every decision I’d ever made that led me to this moment in my life. It was like drinking straight pepper jelly while being stung by a scorpion/wasp hybrid monster. I am truly, deeply unhappy right now.
So, in general, this is a pass for me. I guess if you enjoy sucking hot sauce out of a sewer’s butthole, then this beer might satisfy your needs. For everyone else, I’d suggest the original or grapefruit version of Sculpin.
Likeliness of Me Watching The Craft Tonight Rating: 8 out of 10
Current Sadness Rating: 9.5 out of 10
Overall Rating: 0 out of 10