REVIEW: Fiber One 90 Calorie Pumpkin Bars

Maybe this pumpkin thing requires some explanation. I understand that I have access to pumpkin spice all year long. But I don’t want pumpkin spice year-round. I want to avoid it entirely for nine months, and then eat nothing but pumpkin spice everything for three months. You see, it’s more than just the delicious blend of cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, allspice, and cloves. Pumpkin spice products taste like football season. They taste like trick-or-treating. They make me want to go to Six Flags Freight Fest and wait in line for five hours to go on a five minute haunted hayride. People, pumpkin spice is everything we love about fall.

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This doesn’t mean all pumpkin spice products are successes. We love pumpkin coffee, pumpkin cookies, and pumpkin yogurts. We don’t like pumpkin chewing gums. Every pumpkin season, it’s fun to see which new products fall victim to Pumpkin Fever. We have some new entrants this year. At some unidentifiable point in the last decade, Americans became obsessed with their fiber intake. We FINALLY have a pumpkin spice product specifically designed to make us poop with regularity. Introducing Fiber One 90 Calorie Soft-Baked Pumpkin Bars:

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These bars are special for a lot of reasons. They are soft, chewy, and gooey. Warning: I’m going to use the dreaded “M-word.” These bars are moist. It makes you feel as if fresh pumpkin puree was used, though the ingredient list includes only suspicious “pumpkin flakes.” No worries here. These bars taste amazing. The savory fall spices are prominent and for once, the blend isn’t overly sweetened. The bars contain nine grams of sugar, a modest amount when compared to many processed foods. There are no artificial flavors in these bars, and that makes a huge difference. They leave none of that unpleasant artificial sweetener aftertaste we have come to expect. They do contain white “cream-cheese flavored chips.” I previously took issue with the giant, chemically-enhanced “cheesecake-flavored drops” in the Pepperidge Farm Pumpkin Cheesecake cookies. The chips in these bars don’t suffer from that cloying taste.

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If you’re a fan of pumpkin bread or pumpkin cookies, you’re really going to enjoy these bars. They are sensibly portioned and make for a terrific mid-morning snack or after-dinner treat. They will probably be the healthiest pumpkin product we review this season, but manage to be one of the best-tasting. Dip these into your pumpkin coffees. Crumble these into your pumpkin yogurts. Eat them by themselves and let them warm your little pumpkin hearts. Fall is coming whether you like or not, and these Fiber One 90 Calorie Pumpkin Bars remind us why it’s a wonderful season.

Makes It Okay To Say “Moist” Rating: 8 out of 10
Might Make You Poop Rating: 6.5 out of 10
Overall Rating: 9 out of 10

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6 Responses

  1. Corliss says:

    What store did you find this at?

    • Junk Male says:

      These were found at Giant in Maryland! It’s the only place I’ve seen it so far; must have been an early release through select channels. My guess is Target may start carrying soon, since the Pumpkin Spice Mini Wheats went through the same pattern.

  2. pamb says:

    I, too love Pumpkin Spice everything, except DQ Blizzards, apparently. Was just there today and the Blizzard flavor of the month is Pumpkin {I bet it’ll make another appearance in November} but it didn’t appeal to me.

    Also, salted caramel everything, which is why I chose a salted caramel truffle Blizzard instead. Almost too much candy in it, if that’s even possible!

    • Junk Male says:

      I’ve never had a DQ Blizzard in my life! Too much candy is very much a real thing. I don’t love ice creams that have too many mix-ins. If you like both pumpkin spice and salted caramel, the Hostess cupcakes version of both are pretty bangin’. Check out our review from last night!

  1. September 6, 2015

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