REVIEW: Fiber One 90 Calorie Pumpkin Bars
Maybe this pumpkin thing requires some explanation. I understand that I have access to pumpkin spice all year long. But I don’t want pumpkin spice year-round. I want to avoid it entirely for nine months, and then eat nothing but pumpkin spice everything for three months. You see, it’s more than just the delicious blend of cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, allspice, and cloves. Pumpkin spice products taste like football season. They taste like trick-or-treating. They make me want to go to Six Flags Freight Fest and wait in line for five hours to go on a five minute haunted hayride. People, pumpkin spice is everything we love about fall.
This doesn’t mean all pumpkin spice products are successes. We love pumpkin coffee, pumpkin cookies, and pumpkin yogurts. We don’t like pumpkin chewing gums. Every pumpkin season, it’s fun to see which new products fall victim to Pumpkin Fever. We have some new entrants this year. At some unidentifiable point in the last decade, Americans became obsessed with their fiber intake. We FINALLY have a pumpkin spice product specifically designed to make us poop with regularity. Introducing Fiber One 90 Calorie Soft-Baked Pumpkin Bars:
These bars are special for a lot of reasons. They are soft, chewy, and gooey. Warning: I’m going to use the dreaded “M-word.” These bars are moist. It makes you feel as if fresh pumpkin puree was used, though the ingredient list includes only suspicious “pumpkin flakes.” No worries here. These bars taste amazing. The savory fall spices are prominent and for once, the blend isn’t overly sweetened. The bars contain nine grams of sugar, a modest amount when compared to many processed foods. There are no artificial flavors in these bars, and that makes a huge difference. They leave none of that unpleasant artificial sweetener aftertaste we have come to expect. They do contain white “cream-cheese flavored chips.” I previously took issue with the giant, chemically-enhanced “cheesecake-flavored drops” in the Pepperidge Farm Pumpkin Cheesecake cookies. The chips in these bars don’t suffer from that cloying taste.
If you’re a fan of pumpkin bread or pumpkin cookies, you’re really going to enjoy these bars. They are sensibly portioned and make for a terrific mid-morning snack or after-dinner treat. They will probably be the healthiest pumpkin product we review this season, but manage to be one of the best-tasting. Dip these into your pumpkin coffees. Crumble these into your pumpkin yogurts. Eat them by themselves and let them warm your little pumpkin hearts. Fall is coming whether you like or not, and these Fiber One 90 Calorie Pumpkin Bars remind us why it’s a wonderful season.
Makes It Okay To Say “Moist” Rating: 8 out of 10
Might Make You Poop Rating: 6.5 out of 10
Overall Rating: 9 out of 10
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