REVIEW: JELL-O Pumpkin Pie Pudding
If you found this review by Googling “JELL-O Pudding,” then you oughta be ashamed of yourself. Pudding is a snack typically reserved for children and people without teeth. It is best served in a cold hospital room after major surgery when just about nothing else will go down. No grown person can be taken seriously eating pudding out of a cup. I co-run a junk food blog, and I’m embarrassed for you if you actively searched for pudding reviews. Shame on you…
Or should I say “Shame on me!” Staring at me in the face was JELL-O Pumpkin Pie Pudding. Although I’ve maintained a shred of dignity in my adult years by never succumbing to JELL-O pudding out of a cup, I had little choice here. This could have been pumpkin spice baby food and I would have bought it, reviewed it, and ranked it in the name of journalistic duty and because I have nothing better to do with my life. I took off my adult pants, put on my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pants, and scooped up some of this pumpkin goop.
Welp, I take back everything I said. JELL-O Pumpkin Pie pudding is instantly one of my favorite pumpkin products of the year. This isn’t just a pumpkin-spice flavored pudding. This decidedly tastes like pumpkin pie filling. How is this possible? There’s a deep, earthy pumpkin flavor even though I am 100% certain without looking at the label that there are no traces of actual pumpkin in here. This pudding is made out salt, spice, chemicals, and magic. The pumpkin spice taste favors nutmeg over cinnamon, and I almost get a tinge of butterscotch or caramel along with it.
JELL-O Pumpkin Pie pudding is not without its flaws, however. The first is the aftertaste. Your mind can only be tricked for so long before chemicals start to taste like chemicals. The artificial aftertaste is not so great, but you may not be the type of person who notices or cares if you routinely eat pudding out of a cup like a toddler. The second flaw is insufficient sweetness. Now, I really dig deep pumpkin spices without too much sugar. I used the word “earthy” for a reason before, and I respect that this does taste like pumpkin pie filling. But if you bought pudding in the first place, you are seven-years-old and you expect this to be a sweeter treat than it is. It likely won’t satisfy the inexplicable pudding craving you had. The final flaw is simply that it’s pudding. Everyone, please, grow up and stop eating pudding out of a cup.
Flaws aside, JELL-O Pumpkin Pie pudding really surprised me. It delivered a more rich pumpkin pie experience than I would have thought possible. For that alone, it’s one of the more fun pumpkin spice treats I’ve had this year. When I inevitably end up in the hospital with the first-documented case of Pumpkin Spice-itis and they try to serve me chocolate pudding, I am going to throw a tantrum like the spoiled brat that I am and demand that they bring me some JELL-O Pumpkin Pie pudding.
Made Me Feel Like Less of a Man Rating: 8.5 out of 10
How Much of a Man I Already Was Rating: 4 out of 10
Overall Rating: 7.5 out of 10