REVIEW: Nestle Toll House Pumpkin Spice Blondies

Last week, I encountered an extremely large display of Nestle Toll House Pumpkin Spice Blondie Mix at my local Target. I thought they sounded pretty cool, but I really didn’t want to be bothered having to bake something. Why would I spend 30 minutes preparing something when I could instead spend several weeks, months, and years blogging about nothing to nobody? I snapped a quick pic and dumped it onto our Instagram. Sure enough, our Instagram followers completely lost their shit. I guess these blondies do sound pretty awesome.

Laziness lingered. I still had no intention of making these blondies, let alone reviewing them, until I found myself back at Target a few days later and only a single box remained. A series of panic-inducing questions cascaded over me:

“What if these Nestle Toll House Pumpkin Spice Blondies are the greatest food ever created?”
“What if I’m staring at the last box ever produced?”
“What if I shut down the blog and did whatever it is that normal people do?”

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And into the cart they went. This Nestle Toll House Pumpkin Spice Blondie Mix come with Nestle’s limited edition Pumpkin Spice flavored morsels. It requires a 13 x 9 -inch baking pan, 1 large egg, 1/3 cup of vegetable oil, and 1/4 cup of water. The package recommends mixing it up by adding pumpkin puree, chopped pecans, raisins, cranberries, or quick oats into the batter. Nestle Toll House, you’re talking to a guy that can barely toast a Pop Tart without burning the house down. Seriously, this is how bad I am: The only ingredient I didn’t have on hand was an egg, so I went to the grocery store. But I forgot exactly what it was that I needed, so I returned home with a stick of butter. I had to go back to the grocery store to get eggs. With all this in mind, I opted for the standard configuration.

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The Nestle Toll House Pumpkin Spice Blondies take 19-21 minutes to bake, which is pretty much forever. You’re also supposed to wait for them to cool thoroughly before cutting, which is something I think any amateur baker would know. I didn’t, and I ruined half the batch just trying to cut these up. Whatever; I am just lucky my house is still standing at this point.

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I regret to inform you guys (my Mom and Drunk Female) that this really wasn’t worth all the effort. The base blondie mix on these Nestle Toll House Pumpkin Spice blondies is very bland. It’s not really flavored with anything, it’s not that sweet, and it’s not even buttery. I should have used that stick of butter I bought my mistake to make these tastier. All of your pumpkin spice flavor is coming from the Nestle Toll House Pumpkin Spice morsels. They did provide plenty of them to mix evenly throughout all servings, but I’m not particularly fond of these morsels. They’re cloying and extremely artificial-tasting. In fact, the exact name of these morsels on the package are “Pumpkin flavored with other natural flavor morsels with cinnamon & spices.” That type of roundabout explanation just screams “I’m not real!” Yes, I often imagine that my food talks to me…

If you enjoy Nestle Toll House pumpkin spice morsels, then you will probably enjoy these pumpkin spice blondies. I do not, so I do not. The texture is very cake like and a little rubbery, but that may be because I’m a terrible baker. This is the last time I will do anything for my Instagram followers until tomorrow morning, whereupon I will cater to every single one of their demands for the rest of eternity.

Exposed All of My Flaws in Both Shopping and Baking: 10 out of 10
Pumpkin Flavored with Other Natural Flavor Morsels with Cinnamon & Spices Rating: 3 of 10
Overall Rating: 4 out of 10

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6 Responses

  1. Kaitlyn says:

    well then, i’m not sad that i haven’t seen these in my area. i was kind of excited about them because i love a good blondie. i don’t mind those pumpkin spice chips, but if that’s the only thing giving this thing taste, then i’ll pass.

    • Junk Male says:

      Hey Kailyn! For what it’s worth, my coworkers had no complaints as they powered through these. But just the fact that I dumped the entire batch onto them speaks volumes for what I thought. It truly does come down to the morsels. Maybe my pumpkin palate is a little too sophisticated, but I would look elsewhere if you’re in the mood to bake something.

  2. Sarah says:

    Too bad about this mix. I find the Krusteaz brand is pretty successful. But the butter would have lead to a more flavorful base, though butter does make baked goods more dense, and oil create a lighter texture. But bakers often combine butter and oil to get the best of both worlds…flavor and texture. Krusteaz does make a pumpkin pie bar or pumpkin spice muffins I believe. Granola will be sent your way very shortly!

    • Junk Male says:

      Great insight from someone who clearly knows how to bake to someone who doesn’t. Combining butter and oil makes sense! Truth be told, I’ve successfully made both oil-based and butter-based cookies from scratch and so I can understand the differences you’re describing. Now, I’m not in a position to whip up my own recipes, but I’m just fine at following them and tweaking them to be my own. Greatly looking forward to the granola!!

  3. jwoolman says:

    My idea of baking is to mush a dry packet of flavored instant oatmeal together with some butter or coconut oil and eating it raw with a spoon. It’s like a cookie without any fuss.

    But as one absent-minded person to another: before my phone was equipped with a grocery list app (highly recommended), I sometimes resorted to pinning a note to my sleeve for anything vital. Really. Even if you forget all about it, nobody else will and they’ll draw it to your attention before you leave the store. Notes just in pockets are not as reliable or as amusing to the crowd.

    • Junk Male says:

      Your oatmeal mush cookie recipe sounds just swell in my book. Great suggestion for grocery shopping – what about writing my grocery list on my forehead with a Sharpie? Somebody is bound to read it aloud to me in bewilderment.