What is it about peanut butter that is so uncontrollably addicting? According to my research, 9 out of 10 doctors that I just made up felt that peanut butter is more addictive than even than the purest cocaine. If you take a jar of peanut butter to the couch with nothing but a spoon in hand, you are guaranteed to hate yourself in minutes. What’s worse – nobody knows for sure exactly how much peanut butter is a reasonable serving size. It’s high in fat and calories so you should probably eat less of it, BUT they’re healthy fats, so you should probably eat more of it. It’s a constant internal struggle. The next thing you know, you’ve polished off 5 jars of the stuff and you’re puking in the sink.

Skippy P.B. Bites come in two flavors: Double Peanut Butter and Pretzel. They are little bite-sized snack balls ideal for two demographics: the absolute laziest of individuals, and fitness-minded fanatics that could use some quick and easy fuel.

For the Lazy: Spreading peanut butter onto anything (bread, crackers, your tongue) is a simple task that requires the bare minimum amount of effort. If you can’t be bothered with grabbing a knife or a spoon, then just shove some of these balls into your mouth.

For the Fit: This container transforms peanut butter into a more portable snack. At 150 calories, 10g of healthy fat, and 13g of carbohydrates per serving, these Skippy P.B. Bites provide a convenient boost pre-workout. Go ahead and stuff this small container into your gym bag right next to the Oreos… you’re not fooling anyone.

Skippy P.B. Bites Double Peanut Butter is made with a peanut butter flavored center and a peanut butter coating. These are ideal for true peanut butter diehards – the word “peanut” appears 8 times in the ingredient list. These Octuple Peanut Bites have a smooth peanut butter coating on the outside and a slightly hardened center. The subtle textural contrast between the coating and the center make this a fun snack. The peanut butter flavor is authentic to the Skippy brand – a little sweet, a little salty. It’s not hard to describe this flavor – there’s only one node and it happens to be “peanut” 8 times over. Nitpicking: the peanut butter flavor is a little understated compared to Skippy straight from the jar with a slightly less roasted peanut flavor, but it’s not far off. At 6g of sugar per 15 balls, you could snack a lot worse. They are definitely sweeter than the Pretzel variety (more on that shortly). Their biggest flaw is that I just ate half the container without realizing it. See above note on peanut butter vs. cocaine.

My Fact-Checking on Peanut Butter vs. Cocaine Addiction Rating: 0.5 out of 10
How Many Healthy Fats I Just Consumed Rating: Definitely Too Many out of 10
Overall Rating: 7.5 out of 10

Skippy P.B. Bites Pretzel variety takes the same peanut butter coating but this time envelopes a pretzel at the expense of 4 uses of the word “peanut” in the ingredient list. Let’s start with the obvious – you get a nice crunch from the pretzel center. To me, this texture is a huge advantage in and of itself. Listen, I could write a thesis on why crunchy peanut butter is better than creamy but I will save that for somebody’s eulogy. The snap from the pretzel makes this feel more like a true snack, and it adds bursts of doughy saltiness that give this variety another dimension than simply peanut-on-peanut (on-peanut, on-peanut, on-peanut, on-peanut, on-peanut, on-peanut). The problem is that I didn’t find them salty enough. The salt cuts some of that natural sweetness that I found endearing about the Double Peanut Butter variety. These are definitely still enjoyable – but going back to the Double Peanut Butter immediately after this confirms how much sweeter they are. Pick your poison – salty or sweet. I’m going sweet by a hair.

How Gross Hairy Peanut Butter Sounds Rating: 9 out of 10
I Think I Ate Too Many Balls Rating: 10 out of 10
Overall Rating: 7 out of 10