REVIEW: Hostess Peppermint Ho Hos
This peppermint shit is out of control. There’s your intro…
There is no shortage of chocolate cake rolls with cream filling out there. Growing up (emphasis on “growing” because I was enormous), I was always a Yodels kid. Sure, I know that I’ve tried Little Debbie’s Swiss Rolls and Hostess Ho Hos, but I cannot recall with any degree of certainty the variances between them. That will give me a fairly clean slate for reviewing these Peppermint Ho Hos, and I’m excited to reacquaint myself with this product. I believe this is the first limited edition variety by any of the brands, and “limited edition” is
one of the primary food groups the only food group as far as I’m concerned.
I’d like to point out something hilarious about the recommended serving size for these Hostess Peppermint Ho Hos. Though a box contains 10 individually wrapped cakes, the serving size is 3 cakes at an alarming 380 calories with 43g of sugar. First of all, why individually wrap them if the serving size is 3 cakes? Second of all, in what world is 380 calories and 43g of sugar an acceptable serving size for a snack cake?! The proper serving size should have been the entire box of 10 at 1,267 calories and 143g of sugar. Another oversight worth mentioning is the name itself. Why aren’t these called “Peppermint Ho Ho Hos?” We’re all going to be covered in red cream with a Santa Claus build in no time if this peppermint madness continues.
Peppermint Ho Hos have a stiff, smooth chocolate exterior that provide a little bit of a crunch element before unleashing the cream filling. The chocolate coating tastes decent… underwhelming, but decent. The cream is nice and creamy (I am not good with adjectives), but the peppermint is extremely subtle. This is easily the most muted peppermint flavor I’ve had in any junk food. Peppermint extract is the final item on the laundry list of ingredients, which means there is more Red Dye #40 than actual peppermint in these Peppermint Ho Hos. The cream largely retains the artificial vanilla flavor you’ve come to expect from any chocolate cake roll, which means these are still more or less enjoyable.
A slight peppermint flare, a nice red color, and some fun marketing are the only thing separating these Peppermint Ho Hos from any of the other cake rolls available. I wouldn’t recommend you go crazy hunting them down like I did. Emphasis on crazy. I set an alarm for 4:30 in the morning so I could check a distant 24/7 Walmart before the gym & work. Turns out the Walmart wasn’t 24/7. Let me tell you – you haven’t hit rock bottom until you find yourself standing in an empty Walmart parking lot at 5:00 AM, dejected and Ho Ho-less.
At least now I won’t be tempted to eat the entire box…
How Likely I Am To Eat the Whole Box Rating: I Already Did out of 10
How Much I Hate Myself Right Now Rating: I Already Did out of 10
Overall Rating: 5.5 out of 10