As a food reviewer and fatass, few companies offer me as much excitement as Pringles. Pringles are like the Oreos of potato chips; there are so many new varieties and exclusive flavors that I can’t keep track of which flavors exist and which flavors I made up in my head. When I go hunting for new treats, I make sure to check the Pringles section because there is always a slim chance something new came out unannounced or that I am in one of the stores that has an exclusive flavor. For example, Walgreens has a Jalapeño Bacon exclusive and Walmart has about 100 of their own. True story – I recently went to Walmart to purchase batteries and was greeted at the entrance with this.
Without a conscious thought entering my brain, I grabbed all three and proceeded immediately to the checkout area. To this day, I still need AA batteries. The Salted Caramel Pringles are brand new for 2015, while Milk Chocolate Pringles and White Chocolate Pringles have been released in the past but are new to me. Though I let them escape my wrath in years past, I took this as a sign from God to get my shit together and review them all for the two people that read this blog, of which I am one and Drunk Female is the other. Let’s start with the two chocolate varieties you don’t care about.
Milk Chocolate Pringles look like normal Pringles with a spattering of top soil. The chocolate dusting is so light and I cannot get past the fact that it just looks like dirt. It doesn’t taste much better than dirt. The Milk Chocolate Pringles still retain all of their potato-y flavor, but replace the necessary quantity of salt with a mighty thin cocoa flavor. Whatever salt isn’t strong enough to complement the light chocolate – it just negates it. It negates everything. Milk Chocolate Pringles taste like normal Pringles, but normal Pringles that you ate about 2 minutes after eating a piece of chocolate. Boring and a little weird.
Tastes Like Salty Dirt Rating: 7 out of 10
Makes Me Long for Chocolate Coated Pringles Rating: 6.5 out of 10
Overall Rating: 3.5 out of 10
White Chocolate Pringles look like normal Milk Chocolate Pringles that have gotten a bath. You can tell there is a dusting on them, but it’s so white that they just look like squeaky clean Pringles. White Chocolate Pringles are weird as well, but it works a little better than Milk Chocolate Pringles. The flavors retains a little more salt than the Milk Chocolate Pringles, and the salt comes upfront. On the back end (lol), you get a creamy mouthfeel and a little burst of sweetness. I wouldn’t have ever landed on white chocolate, but I’m a bit more satisfied that the sweet factor is more prominent and puts these in the dessert Pringles territory. I ate more of the White Chocolate Pringles than the Milk Chocolate Pringles, so that must mean that I like them better.
Rub-a-dub-dub Rating: 6.5 out of 10
“Back End” Could Also Mean “Butt” Rating: 10 out of 10
Overall Rating: 5 out of 10
Underwhelmed at this point, I moved onto the newest variety: Salted Caramel Pringles. Since Pringles are already salty, all they had to do was nail the caramel flavor. Home run! Great job with Salted Caramel Pringles; the sweet element comes through the best of the bunch by far. Their inherent saltiness makes these still feel like a highly snackable potato crisp, but the caramel-y sweetness adds an additional layer that makes them a unique and pleasant experience. Because I ate so few of the other terrible Pringles, I ended up eating about half of this container. I enjoyed every bit of it. The only unpleasant thing about these Salted Caramel Pringles is how many crumbs I had in my beard before I realized I had eaten far too many.
How Many Crumbs I Had In My Beard Rating: Feels Like A Lot out of 10
Why I Can’t Be Sure Rating: I Ate Them All out of 10
Overall Rating: 8 out of 10
Just when I thought I was done with Pringles for 2015, Dollar General steamrolled me with Pecan Pie Pringles. These debuted back in 2013 for the holidays, and I recall trying them and liking them. Now they appear to be back at Dollar General only, which is a rather odd place to live. Pecan Pie Pringles might sound disgusting to you (and I might be a disgusting individual myself), but I like these a whole lot. They start with a nuttiness that is kind of hard to describe. It’s not distinctly pecan, but it’s got the earthiness and the saltiness on point to fit the bill. This taste gives way to a maple syrup, molasses vibe that pulls the whole package together. Nuts, syrup, molasses… that’s pecan pie, baby. I could stand for a little more sweetness out of these Pecan Pie Pringles to drive home the dessert angle, but I think I’ve had enough dessert for the rest of my life.
How Many Desserts I’m Going to Eat Tonight Rating: 3 out of 10
How Much Better These Are Than Trader Joe’s Pecan Pie Filling in a Jar Rating: 4 out of 10
Overall Rating: 7 out of 10