Do you like bacon? Don’t answer that. You like bacon…a lot. This is America, after all. Land of the Free and Home of the Bacon.
So here I find myself in a staredown with these new Kellogg’s Frosted Maple Bacon Pop Tarts.
Like many of you, I am torn. Bacon is awesome, breakfast is awesome, and bacon at breakfast is double awesome. So why the reservation here? Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say I have no idea what Kellogg’s Pop Tarts are actually made out of. There is no bacon – I repeat – no bacon nor any derivative of bacon on the ingredients list of Kellogg’s Maple Bacon Pop Tarts. All your bacon is via artificial flavors, and that scares the living bejesus out of all of us. Well, most of us. I’m fearless when it comes to eating, but even I’m not too sure about this one.
Kellogg’s Frosted Maple Bacon Pop Tarts has a maple-colored filling, white frosting, and sprinkles that look like tinier Bacos. For review purposes, I always have to go both ways with my Pop Tarts. Untoasted, my first bite was a lot more bacon flavor than I was expecting. Ok, give me some time for the shock value to wear off. Kellogg’s Frosted Maple Bacon Pop Tarts actually leads with the bacon flavor, and it’s pleasant. No… it’s good. Wait… it’s damn good. What’s happening?
The Pop Tart has a smokey and salty flavor ala crispy bacon… maybe slightly overcooked bacon, but I kind of like my bacon that way. Hold onto your butts because while you’re enjoying this bacon element, Aunt Jemima herself walks into your kitchen and makes you funnel maple syrup like you’re at a God-damned frat party sponsored by Hungry Jack. And then Mrs. Buttersworth asks you to be her beer pong partner. There’s SO MUCH MAPLE SYRUP in the aftermath and given the savory lead-in… I welcome all of it. The sweet balances the salty beautifully. Though the maple/brown sugar flavor is the stronger of the two flavors, you taste both elements in each bite.
Toasted, Kellogg’s Frosted Maple Bacon Pop Tarts are even more impressive. Because now it tastes like you’re eating from the Breakfast Sampler at IHOP and your crispy bacon took a delicious bath in the pool of syrup from your pancake stack. Yeah IHOP sucks but as far as eating your breakfast out of a foil pouch goes, what Kellogg’s was able to create here is unprecedented. Hell, you can even argue the pastry itself brings with it the flavors of a pancake to complete the breakfast platter. Make sure to tip the waiter well because they did a bang-up job. As a fan of savory breakfasts, I’m happy to see Kellogg’s execute well on what may be their first attempt at savory. Yeah, there’s a lot of maple flavor here, but it wouldn’t be up to Pop Tart standards if these weren’t sweet. Maple may be the star, but bacon steals the show. Enjoy now because these babies are Limited Edition.
How Much I Want To Party With Aunt Jemima Rating: 9.5 out of 10
How Much I Want To Make Love to Mrs. Buttersworth Rating: 7 out of 10
Overall Rating: 8 out of 10
