REVIEW: Hostess Cherry Chocodile Twinkies
Like… like a crocodile, right? This is the question I had to ask myself when I saw these new Hostess Cherry Chocodile Twinkies in Walmart in the Valentines Day display. What exactly does “chocodile” mean? The first half of the word (choco) is easy to decipher – this Twinkie is covered in a chocolate coating. Choco…chocolate… boom. But the rest, I don’t know. Do crocodiles eat cherries? Do crocodiles taste like cherries? What is happening?
Now, some of our elder readers are probably shaking their fists at their computer screen. How could a seasoned fatass like me not at least be aware that the Chocodile was its own Hostess snack cake for decades? Here’s a commercial guaranteed to drive you nuts:
I’ve never even had one, but I’m sick of the Chocodile already. That’s because Chauncey Chocodile (who is in fact a crocodile, solving that mystery) manages to say the word “chocodile” 4 times in the first 9 seconds of the commercial… even more impressive considering he doesn’t start speaking until after the 3rd second. He goes on to say “chocodile” five additional times in the 30-second spot, and his voice is like nails on a chalkboard. I hate him. Anyway, you can clearly see that Hostess Chocodiles look to be nothing more than Hostess Twinkies with a chocolate coating.
How did I not know about the Chocodile? Well, I spent the finer years of my youth in the 1990s living on the East Coast. By the mid 1990’s, Hostess had scaled back production of the Chocodile and limited its sales to the West Coast where the plants were located until its eventual discontinuation in 1999. In 2014, Hostess brought back the Chocodile, this time calling a spade a spade and naming them . Some things slip through the cracks, people. I’ve never had a Chocodile, but tonight I’ll pop that cherry with the limited edition Hostess Cherry Chocodile Twinkies.
The ingredient list reveals something of great significance, at least on paper. Unsurprisingly, cocoa is an ingredient here. Somewhat surprising is that it’s the third of a lengthy list ingredients, which means that we’re getting a great deal of cocoa in this chocolate coating – enough that it’s a more prominent ingredient than any of the cake ingredients. Of even greater importance is that cherry juice concentrate is used, and it appears well before any mention of natural flavor or artificial flavor. I tried a bit of the chocolate coating first, and it’s very good! It’s probably the same exact coating as a Hostess Ding Dong, but the amount used for this crisp and flaky outer layer should win some kind of Twinkie award.
Yo, this cherry flavored cream is legit, too. I’m both razzled and dazzled with how Hostess has me thinking “maraschino cherries” with this cream filling. It’s not even as sweet as I would have expected; it has the faintest hint of sour to it. Together with the chocolate coating, you could convince me this was a cherry cordial cake. Okay, it’s not as strong of a cherry cordial flavor as Cherry Cordial M&M’s, but it’s tough to expect that given all the other elements to a cake. Which brings me to the only downside of Hostess Cherry Chodocile Twinkies – the actual Twinkie. Maybe it’s the chocolate jacket, but the sponge cake loses a lot of its sponginess and becomes more rubbery than your standard Twinkie. I didn’t taste much of that buttery, pound-cake flavor until the very end of the cake when I had exhausted all the cherry filling. The Twinkie is still a fine vehicle for delivering the chocolate and cherry flavors, but it takes a back seat to its passengers.
Bottom Line: Hostess Cherry Chocodile are good and you should buy them. I don’t know what Chauncy Chocodile was talking about when he said “it takes a while to eat a Chocodile,” because I nearly swallowed mine whole. It ain’t your Mama’s Twinkie, but it’s a fine snack cake.
Odds the Chocodile Jingle Will Be Stuck In Your Head Today Rating: 8 out of 10
Odds I Eat The Rest of the Twinkies Tonight Rating: “3 Down, 5 to Go” out of 10
Overall Rating: 7.5 out of 10