You guys know how I feel about macarons. (In short: they are my entire reason for living.) Trader Joe’s has done them well in the past; they even have a variety pack that is a staple item in their freezer section. I rarely buy them because I tend to eat every last one in a single setting and then spend the next few hours cursing the day Trader Joe’s was born. However, I was super excited to see these next to the traditional macarons:

“Molten macaron,” besides sounding like a terrible French pop-punk band, is a pretty intriguing concept. Trader Joe’s Salted Butterscotch Molten Macarons are billed as half lava cake, half traditional macaron. There’s also a chocolate version, but salted butterscotch sounded way too special to pass up, and I wasn’t about to buy both versions because I’m trying to live past 30. However, you can read about the chocolate version here if you’re so inclined. (Review via The Impulsive Buy)

I’ll be honest, I am uncomfortable with the word “molten” being used to describe something I am supposed to put in my mouth. “Molten” is traditionally found in sentences like, “The molten lava murdered that entire village of people.” While the element of risk is inherently sexy, I am slightly nervous about eating lava and unsure why anyone would want to. Also, these things are huuuge. It’s kind of off-putting, to be honest. Am I supposed to eat this whole thing by myself? Won’t I die? With big bottles of beer, the kind that are the size of wine bottles, there’s usually a friendly warning that tells you to split the contents with a friend or two. There’s no such warning on these macarons. If Trader Joe’s Salted Butterscotch Molten Macaron were beer, I would have alcohol poisoning.

The instructions tell you to microwave this strange dessert hybrid for 40 seconds. It felt very, very wrong to put a macaron in the microwave, but I guess it’s just a regular macaron until you activate the moltenness. After heating it up, I had to cut this bad boy open before I could attack it.

The texture is…okay. Heating it up kinda kills the traditional delicate chewiness of the shell. It’s mostly gooey while it’s hot, and kinda crunchy once it cools. It doesn’t taste bad necessarily, but I don’t love it. I’m having the same “meh” reaction to the molten butterscotch filling. It’s not as good as their caramel sauce or the butterscotch flavor in their wreath cookies. It mostly just tastes sweet. The texture of the butterscotch isn’t gooey and syrupy like lava cakes, either. It’s kinda gloopy and reminded me of pecan pie filling. And the whole thing is just WAY too big. It’s a giant, monster-sized cookie with hot gloopy filling. I ate half of it before I gave up, breathing heavy and sweating sugar.

I think this was a cool experimental product, and I appreciate that TJ’s will go out on a limb like this. That said, Trader Joe’s Salted Butterscotch Molten Macaron are a pass for me. Much like hot peppers and beer, or me and gingerbread kits, macarons and lava cakes are two things that shouldn’t be combined. They certainly aren’t terrible, but coming from the magical dessert kingdom that is Trader Joe’s, you can do much much better. They might be a hit with little kids who like things that taste like pure sugar, or with giant people who find normal macarons too normal-sized.

How Much I Want Lava In My Mouth Rating: 2 out of 10
How Much I Want Macarons In My Mouth Rating: 9 out of 10
Overall Rating: 5.5 out of 10

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