REVIEW: Friendly’s Crayola Color Me Vanilla Ice Cream
Because tonight’s review is a crayon-inspired ice cream, it’s only appropriate that I tell this one mostly through pictures. I will try to keep words to a minimum. Introducing Friendly’s Crayola Color Me Vanilla Ice Cream!
I had been searching for Friendly’s Crayola Color Me Vanilla Ice Cream for months, but when I finally located it… I was nearly an hour from home. So I did what any normal person would do; I stuffed a bag full of snow from the ground, tucked it away, and drove 100 mph on a 65.
I really didn’t want this ice cream to melt, for I had a vision… a plan.
The snow worked!
Friendly’s Crayola Color Me Vanilla Ice Cream tastes like shitty vanilla ice cream. If Friendly’s wanted to impress me, flavor the damn stuff like crayons. But I didn’t buy Friendly’s Crayola Color Me Vanilla Ice Cream to eat it – no, no. I had something else in mind.
Using only three colors of vanilla ice cream, could I successfully color this picture of a teddy bear going down a slide? You might be asking yourself, “Junk Male… why were you so concerned with the ice cream melting if your plan was to melt it into a coloring book anyway?” So that the colors wouldn’t bleed, ya dumbass.
I chose this picture because the color palette in Friendly’s Crayola Color Me Vanilla Ice Cream largely matched what I needed. Blue for the sky, green for the grass, yellow for the sun, and then God knows what else. Things complicated in a hurry.
I ran into all sorts of problems. For instance, what color should I make the slide, since it bordered the blue sky, the green grass, and the yellow teddy bear? I couldn’t really mix any of the colors to create a new one, since two of the colors in Friendly’s Crayola Color Me Vanilla Ice Cream mix to create the third color. The ice cream was melting quickly, and I was covered in it.
The biggest obstacle was how to retain the detail of the bear’s facial features now that the ice cream was melting and spreading recklessly. Without a face, he was just an amorphous blob. Growing bored, I employed the help of one Oreo and one M&M and called it a day.
Blue Ice Cream Rating: Vanilla out of 10
Green Ice Cream Rating: Vanilla out of 10
Yellow Ice Cream Rating: Vanilla out of 10
Overall Rating: 4 out of 10
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