I’ve been waiting since October to say this. Today we’re going to Twist & Lick the shit out of some Filled Cupcake Oreos.
Welcome to America, where neither filled cookies nor filled cupcakes are enough. Our nation’s collective palate has become so spoiled that we need to stuff foods with other stuffed foods just to get a thrill. Stuffing the creme with another cream is so America, and it’s a cute little gimmick that’s had us all on high alert since images leaked for these Filled Cupcake Oreos last year.
My patience was severely tested last Tuesday when Nabisco staged a promotion in NYC called the Oreo #WonderVault. Any schmuck lucky enough to be walking on 245 W. 18th Street was allowed to open a GIANT OREO GARAGE and obtain a free sample of Filled Cupcake Oreos until 6 P.M. that evening. I sat at my desk, downtrodden, contemplating whether or not it was worth it to walk into my boss’s office, give her the finger, and leave forever on a one-way train to NYC to spend the rest of my life living inside an Oreo cookie. I only made it as far as the middle finger; the trains would not get me there in time.
So here I am reviewing Filled Cupcake Oreos on their actual release date like an idiot. Filled Cupcake Oreos feature two classic Oreo wafers with rich chocolate frosting and a dollop of vanilla cream in the center. I’m not sure I understand the “twist & lick” angle of these Oreos. Do people rip apart their cupcakes and lick out the cream like savages? And would these really taste like cupcakes or just chocolate and vanilla? I had similar doubts when Nabisco released Brownie Batter Oreos, but was proven wrong for the million time. Here’s a review I wrote that nobody read, which I will refer back to shortly.
Since Nabisco can’t come out and say it, let me tell you what Filled Cupcake Oreos are supposed to taste like: Hostess Cupcakes. Now let me tell you what Filled Cupcake Oreos actually taste like: Oreos. They smell like Oreos and they taste like Oreos. The chocolate creme in Filled Cupcake Oreos tastes by and large like the creme in Chocolate Creme Oreos; it’s very sweet but a fine complement against the deeper, bitter chocolate wafers. This creme will not draw comparisons to the dark, cocoa-rich cupcake base in a Hostess cupcake. Yeah, maybe it parallels the frosting on top of the cupcake given its sweetness, but that’s basically just chocolate Oreo creme anyway. What I offer to you is that it’s marginally more fudge-y than the standard creme; like it’s doing its best Brownie Batter Oreo impression but embarrassing itself. The Brownie Batter Oreo creme had a smooth and rich decadence with a more “gourmet” profile than the regular Oreo creme… this creme is trying, but it falls short.
Now what about the vanilla center? Twist & Lick, baby!
As ridiculous as it sounds, you HAVE to twist & lick these to get what Nabisco was going for with Filled Cupcake Oreos. The creme in the center is whipped and airy – a completely different texture than the chocolate creme. Poking your tongue into the center of one-half of an Oreo cookie looks absurd, so be sure to Snapchat all of your friends to let them know what a freakshow you are. The problem, again, is that this dollop is merely a fluffier version of the standard Oreo vanilla creme with regards to taste. The textures are a delightful and playful contrast, but that’s about it. Once you bite into the cookie as a whole, you won’t be able to tell them apart from the chocolate-on-chocolate Oreo. Even the vanilla is hard to identify.
While a fun idea, Nabisco Filled Cupcake Oreos are nothing spectacular. We’re all suckers and we’ll gladly buy them up while they’re out (I already bought 3 packages), but I won’t be disappointed when they disappear. They’re awesome if you like regular Oreos (you do), so that’s still a plus. But if you’re not going to Twist & Lick, what the hell are you wasting your time with?
By the way, everyone already gave their thoughts on Filled Cupcake Oreos when they got to try them last week. Since I hate not being the first to review anything, here’s your Junk Banter exclusive: The Filled Cupcake Oreo Hostess Filled Cupcake:
Filled Cupcake Oreo Hostess Filled Cupcake Rating: Fattening out of 10
How Much I Want To Live Inside the Oreo Wonder Vault Rating: 10 out of 10
Overall Rating: 6.5 out of 10
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