REVIEW: Tastykake Pancake Krimpets
You wake up…it’s a Saturday. Temperatures are approaching single digits. You’ve had a rough week and just want to be pampered. You’ve got a mean craving for a big stack of pancakes. What do you do?
You could get up and make them yourself, but that requires effort. You could get in the car and drive to IHOP, but that requires pants. If only there was a product out there that captured everything you love about pancakes but with none of the hassle, the stress, or the mess. If only such a product came in a tiny little package, conveniently wrapped so that you could, say, hide it behind your pillow so you never even have to leave your bed. If only…
Introducing Tastykake Pancake Krimpets, a product so inspired that I almost cried when I first saw it. Tastykake Pancake Krimpets are described as “Butter Flavored Cream Filled Sponge Cakes with Maple Syrup Flavored Icing.” REWIND. Butter. Flavored. Cream. This has to be the most gluttonous creation Tastykake has ever drawn up. If they nail this butter flavored cream (I can’t believe this is a thing), then these Tastykake Pancake Krimpets might taste like a stick of butter wrapped in a pancake and covered in maple syrup. If they don’t nail this butter flavored cream, I’m going to wrap a stick of butter in a pancake and cover it in maple syrup as soon as I finish this review.
I’m going to flirt around this butter cream because it intrigues me so much. Eating the outer edge of the Tastykake Pancake Crumpet with no cream, the cake is unimpressive. It’s only half as flavorful as a Twinkie, with less buttery flavor than in the Hostess sponge cake. This could potentially be remedied later when we GET TO THE BUTTER CREAM OMG I CAN’T WAIT. The cake is nothing more than a lackluster pound cake, and the icing is only a modest upgrade. It’s ultra sweet, but offers something only vaguely reminiscent of maple syrup. I’d argue it’s more brown sugar than anything else, but it’s in the same vein. Enough is enough – BUTTER ME UP.
Why do you build me up, Buttercup, baby just to let me down? This is the question you’ll be asking yourself when you get to the butter cream. Whatever flavor the cream has in Tastykake Pancake Krimpets is completely lost behind that maple syrup icing. I obviously proceeded to rip one open and lick out the butter cream like a savage. It tastes like unsalted butter for about half a second before it just tastes like generic cream filling. I really like how whipped and fluffy it is, but it just doesn’t pack enough butter flavor to add anything. Eating the whole thing together doesn’t amount to anything close to pancakes. These are just brown sugar krimpets, and poor ones at that. Round up the kids, Honey… We’re off to IHOP.
Odds That Anyone Would Ever Produce Children With Me Rating: 1 out of 10
How Many Full Sticks of Butter I’m Going to Eat Tonight Rating: 2 out of 10
Overall Rating: 4.5 out of 10
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