REVIEW: Kellogg’s Smorz Cereal

It’s National Cereal Day! What does that mean? Nothing, but let’s review some cereal just to play along. Today I have the pleasure of reviewing a product which proves that incessant crying like a spoiled child will always get you what you want.

Kellogg’s Smorz Cereal is back!

Kellogg's Smorz

Kellogg’s Smorz cereal debuted back in 2003 (the first 8 seconds of this commercial are arguably NSFW). The commercial touted the cereal as “chocolatey graham pillows and marshmallows.” Everybody loved Kellogg’s Smorz!

So, naturally, Kellogg’s discontinued it in December 2013. They replaced it with a S’mores variety of Kellogg’s Krave Cereal. People were piiiisssssed. Kellogg’s Krave S’mores cereal was a different configuration of the smores ingredients, offering puffy graham flavored pieces that were filled with a chocolatey, marshmallowy filling inside. The switch didn’t appease Kellogg’s Smorz lovers. Here are some samples of the comments on Kellogg’s blog when they announced the swap:

  • “No I don’t like this!!!!”
  • “My kids are devastated!!!!”
  • “It was a sad Saturday morning in our house today.”
  • “The new Krave Smores is terrible.”
  • “Complete failure.”

Some even resorted to a Change.org petition. And we won! Change is possible!

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Here’s my crazy, unfathomable confession. I cannot recall ever trying Kellogg’s Smorz. I was very, very healthy for many, many years. I feel like I must have bought it once, but I really don’t remember what it tasted like. I agree that this is completely unacceptable and I’m eager to change things right now. Let me cram some of this into my face right now to remedy years of neglect.

I love the texture of the crispy graham pillows in Kellogg’s Smorz cereals. They’re puffy but still insanely crunchy and somewhat airy. They taste kind of like big fat Golden Grahams (my #1 cereal all-time), with lots and lots of authentic graham flavor and a dusting of chocolate.

The cocoa flavor isn’t too intense (some bites have more than others), which is my only true knock against this cereal. The graham flavor is good enough that I can overlook this for the most part. Plus, real campfire s’mores aren’t that heavy on chocolate either.

These marshmallows are exactly what a mini marshmallow ought to be – sweet, creamy, and a touch of vanilla. They have all the grit and stiff crunch of the mini marshmallows you put in your hot chocolate, except they’re gigantic. I love any cereal with marshmallows, and they work especially well in this one. I’m in trouble.

Kellogg's Smorz

So how does Kellogg’s Smorz hold up in milk? I don’t know guys, you tell me. I’m staring down at any empty bowl because I forgot to savor it or write anything about it while inhaling it.

The chocolate flavor seems to improves once drenched in lactose. The graham pieces maintain their crunchiness longer than most cereals, but this was mostly lost on me as I swallowed the entire bowl in 10 seconds. The mini marshmallows didn’t fare as well, turning to mush almost instantly. They still taste great though.

Here’s how I know Kellogg’s Smorz cereal is a good cereal: I am 90% certain that this milk is spoiled, and I’m still enjoying it. Why did you guys have to bring this back? My New Year’s Resolution for 2016 was to cut back on my sugars. Table that one for 2017.

Odds I Actually Cut Back On My Sugars in 2017 Rating: 1 out of 10
Odds I Will Even Be Alive in 2017 Rating: 3 out of 10
Overall Rating: 8 out of 10

Editor’s Note: While preparing this review, I dropped the container of milk directly onto my Macbook Air. I had to purchase a new laptop just to finish this review. I want everyone to know that we are but one more glass of spilled milk away from Junk Banter being dead forever.

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Our friends at Cerealously reviewed Kellogg’s Smorz too! Find out what they thought here.

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