Happy Easter to those who celebrate! You know what means, right? Something about Jesus, but also that there’s going to be a LOT of Easter candy on clearance. Like these Russell Stover Whip Eggs that sound terrible!

Russell Stover's Whip Eggs

I can’t exactly pinpoint it, but there’s something viscerally unpleasant about these limited edition Russell Stover Whip Eggs. In particular, the Russell Stover Mango Whip Egg & Russell Stover Key Lime Whip Eggs sound awfully strange on paper. Is it the word “whip?” Reactions on our Instagram ranged from sheer bewilderment to downright disgust, and I’m not here to argue it. The Russell Stover Banana Whip Eggs and Russell Stover Pineapple Whip Eggs sound a little more promising to me, though I would prefer that nobody ever bring a whip near my banana.

So which should you buy? If you’re me, you buy all of them. But you’re not me, so first thank the Lord, and then just let me eat four of them for breakfast and tell you where to spend your money. 

Russell Stover's Mango Whip Egg

Russell Stover’s Mango Whip Egg

Good news! Russell Stover Mango Whip Egg isn’t awful. Bad news! It’s nothing special and I don’t want it! The whipped mango filling is fluffy as heaven and sticky as hell. It’s sweet to an extreme and I would never in a million years guess mango. A fruit? Sure… maybe something with a subtle citrus if anything. Not mango. The dark chocolate doesn’t contribute a single thing to the Russell Stover Mango Whip Egg other than more calories… it’s a very thin layer and its flavor gets muddled. This thing is 90% whipped “mango.” Any bitterness to the dark chocolate is overpowered by the strong sugary sweetness of the filling. At no point did I hate this nor did I find it enjoyable. I am so indifferent to Russell Stover Mango Whip Egg that I’m just going to stop talking.

… Rating: 5 out of 10
… Rating: 5 out of 10
Overall Rating: 5 out of 10

Russell Stover's Key Lime Whip Egg

Russell Stover’s Key Lime Whip Egg

Ok, despite mine looking like a snot-turd hybyrid, Russell Stover Key Lime Whip Egg is the finer flavor. The citrus and the tart are both here, and quite frankly I’m impressed that I’m even considering using the word “genuine” to describe the key lime flavor. I’m less impressed with the copious amounts of sweetness that follow on the back end. I know key limes are sweeter than regular limes, but Russell Stover took this 3 or 4 steps too far when sweetening. Totally killed the potential here. While the chocolate shell plays off this key lime creme better than I anticipated, the choice of milk chocolate over dark only serves to make it sweeter. Russell Stover Key Lime Whip Egg scores points for having such a robust flavor, but it’s still plagued by too much sugar. Throat is starting to burn.

Throat Burn Rating: 4 out of 10
Luden’s Cherry Cough Drops Ratings: 10 out of 10
Overall Rating: 6 out of 10

Russell Stover's Pineapple Whip Egg

Russell Stover’s Pineapple Whip Egg

Russell Stover Pineapple Whip Egg does a better job of offering the feature flavor than does the Mango Whip Egg, but it doesn’t execute its flavor as well as the Key Lime Whip Egg. The pineapple is identifiable, yet understated. The creme reminded me of pineapple juice – just one that had been awfully watered down. There’s something else here… something akin to a vanilla flavor. Add in the dark chocolate and I’m getting a bunch of underwhelming flavors that don’t really belong together. I appreciated that the Pineapple Whip Egg was more unique than the mango, but I think I will appreciate them even more in the garbage. Stomach ache is in full effect.

Appreciation Normally Rating: 5.5 out of 10
Appreciation Out of the Garbage Rating: 8 out of 10
Overall Rating: 5.5 out of 10

Russell Stover's Banana Whip Egg

Russell Stover’s Banana Whip Egg

Last and hopefully not least is the Russell Stover’s Banana Whip Egg. We all know it by now – artificial banana is extremely hit or miss, with misses far outweighing the hits. I am pleased to report that the Russell Stover Banana Whip Egg, my fourth egg in the last 10 minutes, is a hit. I am less pleased to report that the hit was only a single, and that this egg was caught stealing second.

The artificial banana flavor is pretty darn good effort – it definitely beats the funky flavor of the Banana Chocolate Milanos. While it’s no Banana Runts, this flavor is probably on par with Banana Laffy Taffy. There’s an enjoyable, sort-of-marshmallowy creaminess to this flavor too. Another strong suit is the banana’s pairing with dark chocolate – a classic combination and possibly the only one that makes sense of the bunch. But AGAIN, the back end has so much sweetness that I went from appreciating the flavors to being angry at them. I actually coughed twice after my second bite because the sugar was a lot to handle. This is the best egg in the basket, but that’s not saying much. I’m gonna puke.

Box Score Rating: 1B out of 10
Banana Runts Rating: 8 out of 10
Overall Rating: 6.5 out of 10

When you walk past the clearance candy in your local pharmacy the next few weeks, the Russell Stover’s Whip Eggs might catch your attention. The flavors are whimsical and the packaging colorful. But like most of the brand’s product’s I’ve tried, they all suffer mightily from excessive sweetness. For purposes of this review battle, I recommend the Banana Whip Egg for banana lovers and the Key Lime Whip Egg for the adventurous. Really… I recommend none of them. Happy Easter 🙁

Russell Stover Whip Eggs Overall Rating: 5.5 out of 10

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