REVIEW: Little Debbie Zebra Brownies
What’s your favorite Little Debbie snack? Can you guess mine? If you guessed Zebra Cakes and Fudge Brownies, you only get partial credit. The correct answer is “All of Them,” as I was the fat kid whose physique was best described as “Jabba The Hutt but worse.” While I liked to maitain a diversified portfolio of Little Debbie snacks in my diet, I know for a fact that Zebra Cakes and Fudge Brownies were the favorites of many, many others in the elementary school cafeteria. If these two merged, then, wouldn’t the product stand a damn good chance to become America’s new favorite? We’ll get to explore this tonight, because Little Debbie Zebra Brownies are here!
Now, let’s assume you love Zebra Cakes but don’t love the Fudge Brownies. First of all, what is wrong with you? But second… Little Debbie has got you covered. These Zebra Brownies were released alongside Little Debbie Zebra Cake Rolls and Little Debbie Zebra Plus Nutty Bars. Pick your poison, people… get your zebra on in any way you like. But me? I was most excited for the Zebra Brownies because chocolate. Little Debbie’s Zebra Brownies will compete for brownie shelf space with her Fudge Brownies (the walnut one) and Cosmic Brownies (the girly one). These are by far the most beautiful.
One bite delivers some good news and some bad news. The good news is that this will be one of the easiest reviews I’ve ever written. The bad news is what some may have feared – Little Debbie Zebra Brownies are pretty much just her chocolate brownies with a paint job. Hold on, though, because I am not about to rip these to shreds. Currently, Little Debbie doesn’t offer a plain brownie without any toppings. The walnuts and the candy-coated chocolate bits in her other brownies add a special taste and a special texture that could improve or detract from the experience depending on your preference for the toppings. While I prefer the walnuts, not everyone enjoys nuts in their brownies or can even consume them safely without dying. Little Debbie’s Zebra Brownies are more or less the unadulterated version. But look how pretty this one is!
Now, really dissecting it, the icing does make a minor improvement on the quality of the Little Debbie Zebra Brownie. While the white icing and fudge stripes don’t have a distinctly unique flavor, the sheet of icing adds a generic sweetness that bursts through in flashes during your chew. I need to emphasize again that this experience is minor, but that little pop of sweet is value-added against the backdrop of the less-sweet, deeper fudge flavor of the chocolate brownie base. I get it, guys – you likely won’t notice any of this when you’re taking normal-people bites instead of nibbling at it delicately while drowning in a pool of brownie crumbs in your bed sheets like I am. But you know what? I like Little Debbie Zebra Brownies. Call me a fat 4th-grader; I don’t even care.
It’s time we all give Little Debbie her due. All the major food blogs began well-after Little Debbie had cemented herself as an all-time great in lunchbox brownie-making, so there isn’t any significant literature published on the subject. Little Debbie’s Zebra Brownies may just be a better-looking version of her regular brownies, but I’m very okay with that because I enjoy her brownies and these are totally cooler. If you don’t like them, we wouldn’t have been friends in elementary school. I am certain of this fact because I didn’t have any friends in elementary school.
But I must ask. Do you share this same affinity towards Little Debbie’s brownies, or is it just me? Please sound off in the comments. Disagreement is fine, but don’t you dare come to my blog and tell me about how that amazing gourmet brownies à la mode you had during Restaurant Week caused you to forever turn your nose at Little Debbie’s brownie. Little Debbie is the OG – The Brownie Boss. Suck it.
How Upset I Get When People Bash My Favorite Snacks Rating: 8 out of 10
How Much Actual Zebra You Can Taste in the Brownies Rating: 0.5 out of 10
Overall Rating: 7 out of 10
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