REVIEW Battle: Pillsbury S’mores Toaster Strudel vs. Kellogg’s S’mores Pop Tarts
We can argue it for centuries. The Kellogg’s Pop Tart vs. Pillsbury Toaster Strudel debate may never be settled. Convenience vs. Quality. Versatility vs. Having to Do Stuff. Fake Frosting vs. Real Icing. A winner may never be declared in this war, but tonight we explore the most significant battle that’s been staged between the two. Introducing the limited edition Pillsbury S’mores Toaster Strudel!
The S’mores Pop Tart is the Holy Grail of Pop Tarts. Allowing for some deviation, 10 out of 10 people with brains rank S’mores Pop Tarts in their Top 3. For most, it is their absolute favorite. Does it taste exactly like s’mores? No, but they’ve been around forever and were a far sexier option than Frosted Strawberry when I was a kid. They hold a special place in my fat kid’s fatter heart. The S’mores Pillsbury Toaster Strudel was first released as a limited edition back in 2013, but will be a brand new experience to this veteran fatass.
Several second-degree burns later, the Pillsbury S’mores Toaster Strudel was ready. I applied my own chocolate icing myself like a regular Chef Boyardee and dove right in. I’m instantly reminded how good the pastry is on a Pillsbury Toaster Strudel. I always compare them, in some respects, to fried zeppole dough. They taste buttery and greasy (in a good way), and their texture is light and flaky. The chocolate icing tastes like the same Betty Crocker cake frosting you’ve been fingering in the fridge. It’s delicious.
The filling inside the Pillsbury S’mores Toaster Strudel was more plentiful than my last round with the Raspberry Cheesecake Toaster Strudel, but it wasn’t the best interpretation of marshmallow. It was heavier and creamier than it was sugary and sweet, and I didn’t detect any significant vanilla flavor. The combination of all components was still delightful. However, there wasn’t even an attempt at the graham flavor. Pretty huge oversight when we’re talking s’mores. Penalty applied.
How Much I Hate Doing Work Rating: 8.5 out of 10
How Much I Love Being a Fatass Food Blogger Rating: 10 out of 10
Overall Rating: 7 out of 10
Pleased with the product but not with the s’mores-iness, I had to see how the Kellogg’s S’mores Pop Tart stacked up against the Pillsbury S’mores Toaster Strudel.
The first thing worth mentioning with the Kellogg’s S’mores Pop Tarts are that the pastries are inferior. Whereas the Pillsbury S’mores Toaster Strudel carries natural butteriness, the pasty of the Kellogg’s S’mores Pop Tarts tastes like a toasted sheet of drywall (what?). There’s just not a lot of flavor other than salt. While graham is definitely not represented here either, there’s something about the way that a Kellogg’s Pop Tart toasts that translates well for s’mores. That bit of charred flavor is a flavor you’d have on your overly-charred toasted marshmallow. The Pillsbury Toaster Strudel doesn’t toast in quite the same way.
All of the magic (and there is a lot of magic here), is in the filling. The melty, I-don’t-care-that-it’s-artifical combination of marshmallow and chocolate tastes very much like the melted mess you’d have sandwiched between two graham crackers in the backyard. The marshmallow actually tastes like marshmallow, and although the chocolate component isn’t of the same sophisticated quality used in the Pillsbury S’mores Toaster Strudel, it contains real milk chocolate. This was the correct call for S’mores… not the cake frosting used in the Pillsbury S’mores Toaster Strudel. Melty milk chocolate magic. This is an easy call.
GOAT Pop Tart Rating: 10 out of 10
How Awesome It Is To Be Seven Years Old Rating: 8 out of 10
Overall Rating: 9 out of 10
In summary, I ate a lot of s’mores stuff today. The Pillsbury S’mores Toaster Strudel is of finer quality and made me feel more like an adult, but eating a Kellogg’s S’mores Pop Tart made me feel like a seven-year old again. That’s the feeling I want whenever I eat anything labeled s’mores. A significant victory for Kellogg’s.
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