Kellogg’s has just released a new Pop Tart that is actually an old Pop Tart that looks exactly like a current Pop Tart!

Track this one with me. Kellogg’s Frosted Chocolate Vanilla Creme Pop Tarts were last seen in 2014 as a limited edition flavor to celebrate Pop Tart’s 50th anniversary. The Pop Tarts hadn’t been seen since they were discontinued in 2009, perhaps because their identical twins – Kellogg’s Frosted Cookies & Creme Pop Tarts – were performing much better.

Kellogg’s Frosted Chocolate Vanilla Creme Pop Tarts are now back as a “store exclusive.” They can be purchased super exclusively at this lengthy list of retailers.

If you can believe it, I’ve never tried Kellogg’s Frosted Chocolate Vanilla Creme Pop Tarts. I avoided Pop Tarts for many years when practicing something called “good health,” so tonight I will make up for it by eating two different kinds for dinner. We’ll call it “poor health.”

Putting the boxes side-by-side would make for a really good game of Photo Hunt at any local dive bar.

I’m not drunk enough for this.

I’ll begin dessert-for-dinner with the one you can buy everywhere: Cookies & Creme.

Kellogg’s Frosted Cookies & Creme Pop Tarts

Kellogg’s Frosted Cookies & Creme Pop Tarts, which I have always affectionately called “Oreo Pop Tarts,” might be the most flavorful and most satisfying Pop Tart when eaten dry. Comparing them to Oreos is appropriate. The dough is strong with cocoa flavor, balanced terrifically by the sweet creme. The creme tastes enough like vanilla to me that I wondered why we even need Kellogg’s Frosted Chocolate Vanilla Creme Pop Tarts, before I’ve even tried them. The pastry is a bit floury, but definitely not too dry. Another good comparison here is an iced devil’s food cake.

Notice that I now eat so much junk food that I strictly review items by comparing them to other items.

Toasting the Kellogg’s Frosted Cookies & Creme Pop Tarts doesn’t transform the flavor in any significant way, but did make it more satisfying to me. The filling softens, and I can’t say I’ve ever had a melty hot Oreo before. I kind of loved it. Why don’t I buy these Pop Tarts more often? They’re outstanding.

Likelihood of Success When Flavored Like Oreos Rating: 8 out of 10
Likelihood of Failure When Flavored Like Oreos Rating: Oreo Churros out of 10
Overall Rating: 8.5 out of 10

Kellogg’s Frosted Chocolate Vanilla Creme Pop Tarts

In contrast, Kellogg’s Frosted Chocolate Vanilla Creme Pop Tarts barely taste like chocolate. They’re a lot more floury than the C&C, and my initial impression is that they’re bland as hell. The lighter brown color is symbolic of a much lighter flavor. The pastry itself falls flat on the cocoa. Making matters worse, mine had such a thin layer of vanilla filling that I could barely taste it. Kellogg’s Frosted Chocolate Vanilla Creme Pop Tarts include vanilla extract whereas C&C did not, which makes it even more disappointing that I hardly recognized its flavor. The creme is overpowered by the dough when eaten dry.

Toasting the Kellogg’s Frosted Chocolate Vanilla Creme Pop Tarts doesn’t solve the problem. It just adds a burnt, toasted flavor to the boring dough. I still didn’t taste the vanilla center. No wonder these were discontinued.

Likelihood of Success When You Were Once Discontinued Rating: 2 out of 10
Odds That Most People Ever Find These Pop Tarts Ratings: 3 out of 10
Overall Rating: 5 out of 10

In summary, I’m glad the Frosted Chocolate Vanilla Creme Pop Tarts are impossible to find.

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