Ignoring all the rules about wearing white after Labor Day, Twix is now sporting a white coat after Labor Day.

What an asshole.

Mars announced Twix White earlier this year, citing that the white chocolate segment was growing. Yeah no shit we’re growing… white chocolate is delicious, fattening, and impossible to stop eating.

Twix White has come and gone all over the globe as a limited edition flavor through the years. In fact, Twix White was once available in the U.S., in 2005. Did anyone even know? I don’t think there was an AOL chatroom dedicated to junk food to learn about new products. What did I even eat back then, bread and milk?

Twix White is a simple variant of the classic Twix bar. The caramel and cookie layers remain untouched, but white chocolate replaces milk. I’ve long advocated that every single chocolate candy bar should come in a milk, dark, and white variety. The campaign to make this happen will be a long one, but I’m convinced that blogging to nobody will get us there eventually.

Twix White

Twix White looks pretty enough, like a beautiful bride that will probably leave me at the altar.

Don’t they say that wearing white makes you look bigger? This isn’t true for Twix White, but eating it will definitely make me look bigger. Oh well, I’m going to die soon anyway.

Maybe it won’t, though, because it turns out that I don’t care much for Twix White.

This is a shocker for sure, something I will have to create an AOL chatroom about later. The change to white chocolate simply doesn’t preserve the best qualities of the original. The white chocolate, much sweeter than the milk chocolate, steals significant thunder from the sweet caramel. This could have been a good change of pace, but the white chocolate is far from the best quality. There’s something off-putting and artificial about its flavor. It’s not particularly creamy or indulgent – it’s just kind of “blah.”

The cookie layer of the Twix bar keeps the iconic crunch in the Twix formula. But that’s about it. The biscuity flavor of the cookie isn’t very noticeable behind the glaring flaws of the white chocolate. The aftertaste though. Isolate the white chocolate and have a bite – it’s just not good. WTF happened?

I’ve seen several reviews of Twix White from abroad and they’re mostly positive. I don’t get it. Either I’m the minority opinion here, or people want so badly for this to be amazing that they convince themselves it is. It’s like they’re all afraid to admit something…

In summary, I’m just gonna say it. Twix White sucks.

Regard for Fashion Rules Rating: 0 out of 10
AOL Chatrooms Rating: 14/M/NJ out of 10
Overall Rating: 5 out of 10

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