When your snack cake and body type are the same thing.
Peanut butter is dan-ger-ous. Easily one of my biggest weaknesses. I have, I shit you not, between 15-20 open jars of nut butters right now… all different flavors. Healthy fats, right? Except I can’t control myself. My diet can be on point all day, and then I get into the peanut butter stash and tack on delicious, wonderful calories at an alarming clip.
It’s for this reason I like to describe my body type as “Peanut Butter Round.”
You think I’m kidding? Here’s an excerpt from Junk Banter’s Match.com profile.
Note: I do not actually speak Tagalog. I thought it was asking my favorite cookie and I chose what I thought was “Tagalong,” the Girl Scout cookie.
Soon I will have to update my body type to “PB XXL,” because Debbie just dropped these new Little Debbie PB Rounds. What are they? Fudge-dipped peanut butter sandwich cookies. Effectively they’re her Peanut Butter Creme Pies enrobed in chocolate. Yikes.
Ok, so these are good. But much like most people on Match.com, what you get in reality is not quite as good as the photos. The chocolate and peanut butter combination in Little Debbie PB Rounds doesn’t elevate the product like the combo in a Reese’s cups. Rather, this chocolate simply mutes the wonderful peanut butter flavor in the original. The chocolate exterior is not a bad product by itself, but it certainly isn’t Debbie’s best. It’s not a rich cocoa flavor, and the peanut butter seems to cut some of this flavor too. It’s like they both cancel each other out and you’re left with something less than the sum of its parts.
Texturally, Little Debbie PB Rounds have room for improvement. The outside chocolate is a little waxy and mine started to sweat a little, much like me whenever I meet a girl from Match.com (in my dreams). The inside cookies are stiffer than usual – not the same soft, chewy cookie in the original. The center peanut butter creme is the most flavor component but it’s whipped texture is hard to dissect amongst the tougher elements. It reminded me of a Moon Pie without the marshmallow.
I’ve been harsher than I normally am. This is still a tasty product. But it’s not as good as the original, when it should have been better. Perhaps I’m just in a bad mood by virtue of getting no hits on Match.com lately. But for me, Little Debbie PB Rounds isn’t a match made in heaven.
Still good for a cheap lay though.
Odds I Will Get a Date Rating: 0.5 out of 10
Odds I Get Laid Ever Rating: 0 out of 10
Overall Rating: 7 out of 10
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