Every so often, I review stuff on social media instead of here. The following item was reviewed on our Instagram page (@junkbanter) and didn’t receive the usual blog treatment of a not-so-clever story and a full array of images. This review heavily leverages that post on Instagram. Sorry I’m not better.
Land O Lakes Pumpkin Pie Spice Butter
Let’s face it – nutrition isn’t my strongest suit.
I’ve reviewed a lot of really fattening things for Junk Banter – things that contain lots of sugar and lots of sodium and, if I’m really lucky, lots of butter.
Because I’m in something of a rush tonight, I decided to go straight to the source.
Tonight’s review is butter.
This is Land O Lakes Pumpkin Pie Spice Butter, and I’m here to tell you it is magnificent.
The following is a review of butter. I'd like to think this is the first butter review posted to Instagram but that would be naive. Anyway, for the uninitiated, butter is a solid dairy product that you spread on things to make them taste better. Doesn't matter what. --- This Land O' Lakes Pumpkin Pie Spice butter spread is a dark horse for Best New Pumpkin Invention of 2016. It tastes like pumpkin pie blended with whipped cream, more butter, and churros or some shit. I can't recommend you eat it off a spoon like cookie butter for health reasons, but from experience I do recommend you eat it off a spoon like cookie butter. 9 out of 10
Land O Lake’s Pumpkin Pie Spice Butter is a highly spreadable, magical concoction that the world needed. Do you want everything to be pumpkin spiced? Slather this product on top of anything and everything and your problem is solved. It’s one of the more heavily spiced pumpkin items of the year, but the sweet, velvetty taste of saturated fat helps mellow them down and makes me sweat a little. A blast of sugar doesn’t hurt either. Each tablespoon of butter contains one teaspoon of sugar, the ideal ratio for living life on the edge.
But if you want to live to see tomorrow, don’t do what I did and allow Land O Lake’s Pumpkin Pie Spice Butter to soften too much. It’s impossible to resist when it’s slightly melty. You’ll end up treating it just as you would peanut butter, but I promise there’s not a single healthy fat in this thing. Proceed with caution, but proceed proudly.
Likelihood This is the First Published Review of Butter: 3 out of 10
Likelihood I Live to See Tomorrow Rating: 3 out of 10
Overall Rating: 9 out of 10
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