*Updated August 2018 with new Halo Top Peanut Butter & Jelly

ATTN: Half-naked women of social media!

Hi there! You probably stumbled upon this article whilst on an elliptical operating in a legendary caloric deficit. You desperately want some sweets in your life, but you’re trying hard to look someone else’s definition of “good” in that bikini competition you’re prepping for. Halo Top has you covered!

Note: If you’re a guy reading this, I promise I won’t tell anyone. 

Halo Top Ice Cream.

Halo Top Ice Cream.

More Halo Top Ice Cream!

More Halo Top Ice Cream!

Halo Top Ice Cream is low-calorie, high-protein, and low-sugar. It uses all-natural ingredients and presumably some kind of sorcery to taste just like real ice cream, according to every fit chick with 50K followers on Instagram.

Well, I brush my teeth with real ice cream, so who better to review and rank each flavor than a fat guy like me?

Halo Top varieties range from 240 to 360 calories PER PINT, after subtracting calories from fiber and sugar alcohol because apparently you can do that. That means you can (and should) eat 4 pints of Halo Top in one sitting instead of an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s, which you were gonna do anyway (and still probably will).

Let’s get right to it… you’re starving.

1) Candy Bar

Candy Bar Halo Top

Candy Bar Halo Top

Welp, congrats. You lasted all of 10 seconds before you broke and bought a candy bar. Not a good sign, but at least you picked the best flavor.

Candy Bar Halo Top is going to remind you of Snickers the moment it lands on your tongue. The base satisfies on its own with a light chocolate and almost nougat-like flavor setting the foundation, and then the plentiful honey roasted peanuts and swirls of caramel & chocolate finish the job and give this one the crown. A wise man once pondered: “Hungry? Why Wait?”


Grab the Candy Bar Halo Top. You’re not you when you’re hungry.

1/2 Cup: 90 calories, 6g Protein, 16g Carbs, 3.5g Fat, 7g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

2) Gingerbread House (Seasonal)

Halo Top Gingerbread House

Halo Top Gingerbread House

Isn’t it cruel how the best things in life disappear faster than the walls of a gingerbread house before you even construct the damn thing?

Halo Top Gingerbread House is a limited-time offering available only during the holiday season, but at least it’ll help you avoid eating a 3,000 calorie cookie house. It has a magnificent, wintry blend of warm spice and sweet sugar coming from real ginger cookies, a vanilla icing swirl, and a brown sugar base.

With 20g of protein per pint and no assembly required, the only house you’ll be building tonight is the one in the mirror. 💪😉

Nutrition for 1/2 Cup: 90 calories, 5g Protein, 17g Carbs, 3.5g Fat, 7g sugar & 6g sugar alcohol. 

3) Peanut Butter & Jelly (Gold Edition – Limited Batch)

Peanut Butter & Jelly Halo Top

Why are all the best things in life seasonal?

Debuting in August 2018 and available for a very short time frame, Peanut Butter & Jelly Halo Top was one of the best offerings the company ever produced. A sweet & salty peanut butter base set the stage nicely and paired naturally with a jammy strawberry swirl. The only disappointment is that it’s SUPPOSED to have cannoli shell pieces, but they’re basically nowhere to be seen. Doesn’t change the fact that this should be in the regular lineup.

Now would be a great time to start bulking so you can trample all the other idiots hunting down this flavor if Halo Top ever brings it back.

1/2 Cup: 90 calories, 5g Protein, 16g Carbs, 3.5g Fat, 7g sugar & 4g sugar alcohol. 

4) Red Velvet

Red Velvet Halo Top

Red Velvet Halo Top

Are you surprised that the best flavors happen to be the ones with the most calories?

Low-calorie or not, Red Velvet Halo Top is an excellent red velvet interpretation. The flavor here is a delicate balance of cocoa and vanilla that favors the former, just as red velvet should. The key here is that it’s not just chocolate – that’s the modern-day cop-out for red velvet. This is creamier than most other flavors (probably because it’s one of the fattest), and it has the most indulgent mix-in of all: brownie dough!

Forget about Bikini Season, ladies… it’s Brownie Dough Season now.

1/2 Cup: 90 calories, 6g Protein, 14g Carbs, 3g Fat, 7g sugar & 4g sugar alcohol. 

5) Pumpkin Pie (Seasonal)

Pumpkin Pie Halo Top

Pumpkin Pie Halo Top

Basic fit bitches, work those pumpkin spice muscles with Halo Top’s first ever seasonal flavor.

Available in the fall, Pumpkin Pie Halo Top has a natural pumpkin base with real pumpkin, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and cloves. It’s creamy and delicious, and there’s pieces of pie crust throughout (small as they may be). If you have pumpkin spice wet dreams like me, it just may become your new favorite Halo Top. An appreciation for pure pumpkin is a prerequisite because this flavor is strong. 

Disregard if you hate pumpkin pie, and best of luck with your broken taste buds.

1/2 Cup: 90 calories, 5g Protein, 18g Carbs, 3g Fat, 7g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

6) Oatmeal Cookie

Oatmeal Cookie Halo Top

Oatmeal Cookie Halo Top

Oatmeal cookies never get the love they deserve, but I do kinda wanna make love to Oatmeal Cookie Halo Top.

The base has a sinfully sweet cinnamon flavor. Really, it does! While there aren’t real cookie bits in here, there’s plenty of rolled oats to bring the oatmeal flavor together. It reminds me a little of brown sugar oatmeal but, most of all, it reminds me of a baked oatmeal cookie. Some raisins could have put this flavor in the top spot, but a single raisin could cost you first callouts in that bodybuilding competition you’ve been prepping for.

Just give up and eat a pizza like the rest of us, would ya?

1/2 Cup: 70 calories, 6g Protein, 12g Carbs, 2.5 Fat, 5g sugar & 4g sugar alcohol. 

7) Peanut Butter Cup

Peanut Butter Cup Halo Top

Peanut Butter Cup Halo Top

I enjoyed this one so much that I forgot to take a picture of the ice cream while enjoying it, so here’s the empty carton.

There are gigantic globs of peanut butter in the Peanut Butter Cup Halo Top, and you can never go wrong with gigantic globs of peanut butter. The PB is adequately salted and keeps this ice cream genuine to real-people food. The chocolate/PB ratio is about 50/50, but it’s still one of the most chocolatey flavors in the lineup. It’s not as sweet as a Reese’s cup, so you’ll have to stick to eating Reese’s in your dreams for now. Soon you’ll be able to enjoy them in Heaven when you’re finally dead.

When does this diet end, anyway?

1/2 Cup: 80 calories, 6g Protein, 12g Carbs, 3g Fat, 5g sugar & 4g sugar alcohol. 

8) Cinnamon Roll

Cinnamon Roll Halo Top

Cinnamon Roll Halo Top

Now now, I know you’re trying to avoid rolls like the plague on your diet, but this is one you want in your life.

The cinnamon in the base is moderate, but there’s also a light cinnamon & brown sugar swirl coupled with small, eggy cinnamon roll pieces to boost it. Additionally there’s both buttery and vanilla glaze components to give it complexity, and it’s one of the best textures in the entire lineup. Buy Cinnamon Roll Halo Top with confidence, but yeah… you’re definitely gonna put on some rolls with this one.

We like you better when you’re squishy, anyway.

1/2 Cup: 90 calories, 5g Protein, 19g Carbs, 3g Fat, 8g sugar & 6g sugar alcohol. 

9) Sea Salt Caramel

Sea Salt Caramel Halo Top

Sea Salt Caramel Halo Top

Flex those brain muscles of yours (LOL) and imagine yourself swimming in the small pools of buttery caramel present in the Sea Salt Caramel Halo Top.

This is one of the sweeter flavors in the line, so obviously that vaults it into the Top 10. It’s also impressively genuine under the circumstances. This base is more identifiable as “caramel” than many competitors’ versions – even Ben & Jerry’s. Remember Ben & Jerry? You used to be friends with them before you even knew what a thigh gap was. Your life hasn’t been the same since.

1/2 Cup: 80 calories, 6g Protein, 15g Carbs, 2g Fat, 7g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

10) Peaches & Cream

Peaches & Cream Halo Top

Peaches & Cream Halo Top

Cream yourself with Halo Top Peaches & Cream, because Lord knows you don’t have enough energy for sex.

This one really surprised me, because I wouldn’t even seek out a peach flavor by a full-fat brand. But Halo Top Peaches & Cream is by far their best fruity flavor, and manages to best even some of the more complex, decadent dessert ones.

With peach puree concentrate and (a few) peach pieces scattered throughout, this base is really vibrant, flavorful, and refreshing. The balance between authentic peach and the cream component is simply on point.

Enjoy this limited edition summer seasonal while it lasts, because come fall when you want to cream yourself again, it’s back to masturbation for you (if you don’t fall asleep).

1/2 Cup: 80 calories, 5g Protein, 16g Carbs, 2g Fat, 8g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

11) S’mores

S'mores Halo Top.

S’mores Halo Top

S’mores is everyone’s favorite summer flavor, but you’re not allowed to eat real food in the summer. That changes now.

S’mores Halo Top has an impressive amount of cinnamon graham crunch blended throughout the pint, ensuring graham isn’t an afterthought like in some s’mores ice creams. Mini chocolate chips give a burst of cocoa necessary for the s’mores experience. The base isn’t perfectly marshmallow, but it’s sweeter than their Vanilla Bean flavor and therefore marshmallow-y enough to fill in the gap between the graham crunch and chocolate chips.

My physique is marshmallow-y enough too, so you should probably trust me when I say that this is a solid s’mores ice cream.

1/2 Cup: 80 calories, 6g Protein, 14g Carbs, 2.5g Fat, 7g sugar & 4g sugar alcohol. 

12) Pancakes & Waffles

Pancakes & Waffles Halo Top

Pancakes & Waffles Halo Top

You know your intake is miserable when you’re craving both pancakes AND waffles at a single meal.

Thankfully, Pancakes & Waffles Halo Top will hold you over damn well with some  buttery maple goodness. The mix-in here is waffle cone, and it’s got to be the most abundant mix-in Halo has ever graced us with. They’ve lost much of their crunch but waffle cone is still a perfect pairing with ice cream. You might not remember that because you’ve been dieting, which is why you now want two separate 500 calorie breakfasts in the same pint. Savage.

A slight artificial aftertaste holds this back from a higher spot.

1/2 Cup: 70 calories, 5g Protein, 16g Carbs, 2g Fat, 7g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

13) Caramel Macchiato

Caramel Macchiato Halo Top

Caramel Macchiato Halo Top

What’s the matter, your black coffee with nothing isn’t getting the job done? Thankfully Caramel Macchiato Halo Top has enough sugar to save the day, and enough sugar alcohols to make you fart a lot.

This coffee base is really excellent – a smooth, creamy coffee reminiscent of a Dunkin’ Frozen Coffee. Again the caramel is excellent, but the ribbon is thinner and less prominent that in Sea Salt Caramel – the main reason I’m ranking this behind it.

At least now you can avoid the trip to Starbucks and the four Cake Pops you were gonna sneak in the car.

1/2 Cup: 70 calories, 5g Protein, 16g Carbs, 2g Fat, 7g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

14) Mint Chip

Mint Chip Halo Top

Mint Chip Halo Top

An extremely careful scrutiny of Halo Top ice creams might reveal a modest taste of protein concentrate in some of the flavors. But mint does a wonderful job masking these flaws, much like an Instagram filter does a good job masking yours.

Mint Halo Top has a mild but immensely soothing peppermint flavor. The chocolate is like a creamy white chocolate, and there are also little chocolate chips. There should be more, but that’s all you really want these days, isn’t it? A little chocolate? Dieting blows.

1/2 Cup: 60 calories, 6g Protein, 14g Carbs, 2g Fat, 4g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

15) Lemon Cake

Lemon Cake Halo Top

Lemon Cake Halo Top

Yes, the same lemon in that 3-day juice cleanse you tried that only lasted 3 hours. But instead of cayenne pepper, this one is flavored like cake!

Lemon Cake Halo Top has a refreshing tartness paired with a silky & buttery base. If I really use my imagination to pinpoint it, I felt like I was eating pound cake covered in Fruity Pebbles at times. You’re going to have to use a lot of imagination to get through this crash diet of yours. It’s the only way that steamed broccoli with mustard isn’t going to taste like shit.

1/2 Cup: 60 calories, 6g Protein, 14g Carbs, 2g Fat, 4g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

16) Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Halo Top

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Halo Top

The base of the Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Halo Top isn’t the most impressive, but there are chunks of cookie dough throbbing throughout this pint. Behind the brownie dough from Red Velvet, the cookie dough pieces are the second-best mix-in the companies offers. We’re talking real cookie dough here – nothing insincere about it.

The base is just kind of a generic, buttery sweetness, but oh my God the things you would do to a stick of butter right now.

1/2 Cup: 90 calories, 6g Protein, 14g Carbs, 3g Fat, 7g sugar & 4g sugar alcohol. 

17) Chocolate Almond Crunch

Chocolate Almond Crunch Halo Top

Chocolate Almond Crunch Halo Top

The Chocolate Almond Crunch Halo Top tastes nothing like what you’d expect. The chocolate is a complete miss here, but let me tell you why I still like this one.

If you’re a fat Italian goombah like me, you might have grown up eating those S-shaped Stella D’oro cookies that nobody buys but us. This pint tastes exactly like those cookies; strong hints of almond and vanilla in every bite, with crunchy almond bits to drive the flavor home.

I don’t know what the hell happened to the chocolate, but chocolate is your devil anyway.

1/2 Cup: 70 calories, 6g Protein, 11g Carbs, 2.5g Fat, 5g sugar & 4g sugar alcohol. 

18) Vanilla Bean

Vanilla Bean Halo Top

Vanilla Bean Halo Top

Sure, vanilla is a little plain, but “Plain” is your middle name right now. Plain grilled chicken, plain asparagus, plain everything. But the Vanilla Halo Top is one you shouldn’t sleep on despite its placement on this list.

Instead of just vanilla extract, this one adds real vanilla beans to provide a bold, natural vanilla flavor. It’s a little icy but this shouldn’t be too unnatural for you either.

You drink two gallons of ice water each day to try and flush away an entire lifetime of bad decisions.

1/2 Cup: 60 calories, 6g Protein, 14g Carbs, 2g Fat, 4g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

19) Blueberry Crumble (Seasonal)

Blueberry Crumble Halo Top

Blueberry Crumble Halo Top

Blueberries are full of antioxidants. You? You’re full of antidepressants due to this awful, awful diet. Cheer up with some ice cream and Halo Top’s Blueberry Crumble – a spring/summer seasonal.

The thing I enjoy most about this flavor is its sheer novelty – no other protein ice cream brand (and very few major ice cream brands for that matter) offer a blueberry base in their lineup. This has moderate, tart hints of blueberry that land in a refreshing place. Unfortunately the advertised blueberry swirl and pie crust pieces are an afterthought with far too low density to make any significant impact – especially the pie crust.

Hey Halo Top… who do we have to f*ck to get some pie around here?

1/2 Cup: 90 calories, 5g Protein, 17g Carbs, 2.5g Fat, 7g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

20) Birthday Cake

Birthday Cake Halo Top.

Birthday Cake Halo Top

Sprinkles! The Birthday Cake Halo Top does taste a lot like yellow cake with super sweet frosting. While it satisfies, it proves to be a bit much in large doses. This is one flavor where you can taste the stevia more than you’d like to.

Also, the sprinkles. You ever take fistful of sprinkles to the face? It’s not the best flavor when overdone, and you can taste it an awful lot here. Imagine dumping a healthy pour of sprinkles into a vanilla protein shake, then freezing it, then crying because all you want is a slice of cake.

That’s Birthday Cake Halo Top.

1/2 Cup: 70 calories, 6g Protein, 15g Carbs, 2g Fat, 5g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

21) Strawberry

Strawberry Halo Top

Strawberry Halo Top

Strawberry Halo Top might be the most true to its full fat competition in the whole lineup. There’s nothing artificial about this strawberry – tastes like frozen strawberries. There’s plenty of natural sweetness just like in the fruit.

Did you find this review boring? That’s because strawberry ice cream (in general) is boring, and so is this. 😴

1/2 Cup: 70 calories, 6g Protein, 15g Carbs, 2g Fat, 5g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

22) Pistachio


Pistachio Halo Top

Pistachio Halo Top is a straightforward flavor that’s a tough sell next to pints with cake and cookies and s’mores printed in the title. It’s hard for a guy who reviews cupcakes like me to get too excited for this one, and honestly, there’s not much excitement in this one either.

The nutty pistachio flavor is there but it’s on the light side. The real bummer is the lack of crunchy pistachio bits. In fact, pistachios aren’t even an ingredient in the recipe. However, the “essence of pistachio” does build as you continue to eat it.

Pistachio diehards on strict diets might enjoy this flavor a lot, if they existed.

1/2 Cup: 60 calories, 6g Protein, 11g Carbs, 1.5g Fat, 4g sugar & 4g sugar alcohol. 

23) Black Cherry

Black Cherry Halo Top

Black Cherry Halo Top

Another snoozer, but there’s really nothing WRONG with the Black Cherry Halo Top.

This one has nice chunks of soft dark cherries to give you something to chew on at least. They offer a natural sweetness and a slight tartness, but some mini chocolate chips would have gone a long way here. Without them, this is a little too similar to the acai bowl you had for breakfast AND lunch. You know, the one where you added a bunch of fruit just to hide the kale and spinach you blended in there.

I guess there’s a market for this flavor but it’s not me.

1/2 Cup: 70 calories, 6g Protein, 12g Carbs, 1.5g Fat, 5g sugar & 4g sugar alcohol. 

24) Chocolate

Chocolate Halo Top

Chocolate Halo Top

The Chocolate Halo Top tastes like chocolate, and that’s cool and all, but let me tell you what chocolate it tastes like. It tastes exactly like a Fudgesicle. You know, those $1 ice cream bars that you got from the ice cream truck when Mom and Dad didn’t give you enough to get a Choco Taco? I used to work on an ice cream truck; I watched plenty of kids eat Fudgesicles, but they were never smiling all that much. This one won’t make you smile all that much.

1/2 Cup: 70 calories, 5g Protein, 12g Carbs, 2.5g Fat, 5g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

25) Green Tea Mochi

Green Tea Mochi

Green Tea Mochi

Full disclosure: I don’t enjoy green tea ice cream.

The good news for me is bad news for you, since I don’t think this tastes anything like green tea. Mochi Green Tea Halo Top instead has a strong floral component that reminds me of lavender ice cream, or potpourri. What I really enjoy are the chunks of mochi dough – a very clever, whimsical mix-in that should be applauded, even if I barely understand what mochi is. Green tea lovers will surely be disappointed with the overall flavor though.

By the way… if one more of you Fit Chicks tries to sell me FitTea, I swear I’ll shut down this blog so fast you won’t know what anything tastes like. 

1/2 Cup: 80 calories, 5g Protein, 16g Carbs, 2g Fat, 5g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

26) Rainbow Swirl

Rainbow Swirl Halo Top

Rainbow Swirl Halo Top

So they finally made an ice cream you can actually eat, and you want to know how the sherbet flavor is? You really do need to work out your brain a little more.

Rainbow Swirl Halo Top maxes out at decent. It’s all “natural flavor” food science, with the red tasting like “raspberry,” the green like “lime,” and the orange like “orange.” It’s like Fruit Stripe gum in a way– kinda fun, but you kinda don’t want it either.

Still beats the piece of gum you had for lunch today. 

1/2 Cup: 60 calories, 2g Protein, 14g Carbs, 2g Fat, 5g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

27) Chocolate Mocha Chip

Chocolate Mocha Chip.

Chocolate Mocha Chip Halo Top

Chocolate Mocha Chip Halo Top really fails to deliver in my opinion. Their chocolate isn’t the best to begin with, and the coffee flavoring introduces a bitter element that kinda makes it worse. The chips are really tiny and mostly flavorless – not the burst of chocolate I was hoping for. It’s kind of chalky too, and there’s a lasting artificial sweetness that isn’t very satisfying.

Black coffee is one of the few things you allow yourself, so you probably want to avoid this anyway.

1/2 Cup: 70 calories, 6g Protein, 14g Carbs, 2.5g Fat, 4g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

28) Chocolate Covered Banana

Chocolate Covered Banana Halo Top

Chocolate Covered Banana Halo Top

When will we finally accept that banana flavored things don’t taste good unless they’re actually bananas?

Now if you like artificial banana flavor (and you know exactly what flavor I’m talking about), you might like Chocolate Covered Banana Halo Top. Personally I don’t enjoy it and especially not in ice cream – it’s similar to Banana Runts, Banana Laffy Taffy, or probably what Donkey Kong’s butthole tastes like. It’s also such a strong flavor that the chocolate swirl plays a very minor role.

Blending this banana with kale might actually improve it. Yuck.

1/2 Cup: 70 calories, 2.5g Protein, 15g Carbs, 2.5g Fat, 6g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

29) Cookies & Cream

Cookies & Cream Halo Top

Cookies & Cream Halo Top

A surprise at last place, the Cookies & Cream Halo Top is the one I wouldn’t recommend to anyone.

There’s lots of cookies crumbs blended into the pint, but they don’t carry enough cocoa or chocolate flavor to distract from the real problem: a strong, extracty flavor in the base. It leaves an undesirable aftertaste that’s simply impossible to ignore. Imagine letting half an Oreo dissolve entirely in a huge glass of almond milk, and then spiking with vanilla extract. Not good.

Maybe I just eat too many Oreos (definitely), but something is off here.

*UPDATED*: In August 2017, Halo Top began advertising a reformulated Cookies & Cream. They did reduce the extracty bite, but it’s still the worst Halo Top. This is a flawed flavor at its core.

1/2 Cup: 80 calories, 6g Protein, 14g Carbs, 2.5g Fat, 7g sugar & 4g sugar alcohol. 


Though I don’t plan on competing in anything other than hot dog-eating competitions, I was mostly impressed with Halo Top’s light ice cream. Products that are only a fraction of the nutrition of leading brands must vastly outperform that fraction on flavor in order to be successful. Halo Top delivers on that benchmark with the exception of only a few flavors. My preference is still to eat a lesser amount of full-fat ice cream on most days, but the option to crush an entire pint on the couch without bloating like Jabba the Hutt is enticing enough to warrant an occasional purchase.

In summary, eat Halo Top if you want to get fatter a little more slowly.

Rating If Your Name is Ben or Jerry Rating: 6 out of 10
Rating If You’re a Fit Chick on Instagram Rating: OMG out of 10
Overall Rating: 7.5 out of 10

Related Reading: 


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34 Responses

  1. Caitlin J says:

    I actually really enjoy every Halo Top flavor I’ve tried (except for the chocolate mocha chip, which didn’t taste anything like coffee to me and go figure – coffee isn’t even found on the ingredients list!)
    However, these newer flavors haven’t popped up anywhere for me! Where did you find them? They aren’t cheap either, I can’t imagine how much money you spent on this review! I do appreciate this review very much. I’m a HUGE red velvet and cookies and cream person, so I was torn between which one to try first – you helped me with that (once I do find them). Thank you! <3

    • Junk Male says:

      The flavors are getting a slower rollout than I think anticipated. Kroger stores have been amongst the first to sell. I was fortunate that Halo Top offered to send me the 10 new ones – I purchased the remainder. They didn’t require me to post about them and it didn’t affect my scoring!

      • Caitlin J says:

        Lucky!!!! Have you ever heard of Enlightened’s Ice Cream Pints? I usually get them from Shoprite and I’m OBSESSED. I wonder how these new Halo Top flavors will compare since they’re more similar in terms of calories. I can only find Halo Top in Wegman’s and my store said they won’t have the new flavors available until closer to the end of the year (close, but still too far), unfortunately I don’t live near a Kroger 🙁

        • Junk Male says:

          I haven’t tried Enlightened yet but I plan to soon. It’s harder to find in Maryland for me. With Halo Top, I can only find at Wegmans and Whole Foods but both haven’t gotten the new flavors yet either. Stay patient!

          • Caitlin J says:

            No way, I’m from Maryland, too! Harford County to be specific, but yeah I haven’t been able to find Halo Top anywhere except for Wegmans (well, I did notice Shoprite started carrying it but only the vanilla and they’re always sold out). Wegmans is my only hope for it haha

          • Junk Male says:

            I used to live in Bel Air! I’m currently living down in Baltimore.

    • Dominic Flaim says:

      Price is why I haven’t tried more of these, but I intend to. I’m only replying to you because the one time I tried HT was Lemon Cake found for 50 or 75 cents at a discount store, and I wish I would have grabbed more than 1!

      • Junk Male says:

        Sale price is definitely the time to pounce on these. It sucks that healthier products always come with an elevated price. Lemon surprised me.

  2. Marc P says:

    Another wicked informative post. Thanks.
    Never heard of this but intrigued. And yes I’m a guy and ain’t afraid to admit it. 🙂

    When I first saw homepage, it looked like a shooting gallery at at a fair with point values.

  3. Steph says:

    I just laughed out loud spitting grilled chicken, steamed broccoli and mustard onto my screen. I shed a few tears because you are so spot-on with this posting. For good measure, I washed my meal down with black coffee and continued to read your reviews.

    • Junk Male says:

      This comment makes me happy. Glad you enjoyed! I’ve been there and done that with yellow mustard on everything, and I still drink my coffee black. I once ate peanut butter & jelly on lettuce. From crash diets to juice cleanses to running a junk food blog, I’ve done it all. This was really fun to write because of it.

  4. cait says:

    Seriously freaking hilarious- I am a skinny white girl who lives in the gym/counting macros and I should be offended by this post but instead I just find it really really funny so thanks for that. And yeah- if I’m going to eat ice cream you better dang believe I’m going to google what the best tasting flavor is before I go and weigh it out on my little scale.. but really..

    • Junk Male says:

      Haha, I’m glad you found this useful and entertaining Caitlin! I meant no disrespect of course. I’ve had my experience counting macros strictly to draw from too. Even then, I was able to step outside and laugh at the absurdity of some of it.

  5. Awesome review, TY! Being the geek that I am I had to read reviews before buying, now I know what to try first, peanut butter! Happy first day of Spring ?

  6. Kim Martin says:

    Agree Peanut Butter Cup is one of the best flavors but think Chocolate Mocha Chip deserves a top ranking…my favorite! S’mores was the biggest disappointment because I was expecting a Chocolate base – not vanilla. Wish Halo Top would place a brief description on each carton, especially considering the price.

  7. Esther Newberg says:

    I have eaten the vanilla, chocolate chip and birthday. They all taste the same to me. I will continue purchasing the
    vanilla. I did put some light chocolate syrup on it.. Costco’s is the bet place to buy this ice cream. Will continue eating this wonderful ice cream

  8. mykia says:

    Chocolate Mocha Chip is my favorite. I was surprised to see it at the bottom. I love it.

  9. Ardith Meadow says:

    Hey junk guy, don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining! That pint of Sea Salt Caramel I didn’t even finish. REASONS: 1.) Higher price 2.) Where’s the caramel? I dug and dug. 3.) Ice crystals throughout. 4.) NOT creamy. Will not buy again.

    • Junk Male says:

      Let’s talk, Ardith. The higher price is a sunk cost and shouldn’t affect you finishing it. The rest of your points can be valid but mine had caramel in it. Sadly inconsistency in mix-ins is a problem we see in many companies. Same with ice crystals, but due to Halo’s makeup it’s especially important to let it temper fully. They’ll be the first to tell you that. Once tempered mine was creamy with no ice crystals. Point is, I didn’t lie to you. We just had different experiences!

  10. Cynthia Freeman says:

    Tried the red velvet and oatmeal cookie. On sale at Shoprite in NJ for 2.88 had a 2$ off coupon. Oatmeal cookie was superb nice cinnamon flavor chewy oats finished it all. Red velvet was good but I tasted alcohol appreciated the brownie chunks and nice red color and texture. Will try the chic peanut butter and lemon cake just to see if they measure up. I have extra coupons would never buy these at the regular price of 4.78 a pint.

  11. Julie Esposito-Mendoza says:

    I love your reviews Junk Male!

  12. Alabamaliz says:

    I love that we are all so opinionated on the flavors – how very human of us! My favs are mint, lemon cake, and choc almond crunch, but honestly, I thank the ice cream gods for them all! As to cost, they are pricey, but sometimes research helps. A few stores around Chattanooga have them in the under $4 range, and my little Foodland in small-town Alabama had a sale on them two weeks ago – 3 for $10!! Roll Tide on that!!

  13. Bushra says:

    I wish I read this before I bought the Cookies and Cream flavor – I bought it after craving some ice cream but today is not a cheat day, alas. It has an… interesting flavor that I wasn’t expecting at all. Not a fan.

  14. Robin says:

    Wow Opinions can sure vary. I didn’t find red velvet that impressive and my overall rankings look totally different than yours.

    My favorites are (in the order of most liked to least liked)
    Chocolate chip cookie dough
    Vanilla bean
    Sea salt caramel
    Mint chip
    S’mores=red velvet
    Birthday cake = chocolate
    Black cherry =Chocolate Almond Crunch

    Prob never gonna buy again:
    Oatmeal cookie
    Chocolate peanut butter
    Lemon cake (lemon fan but this one isn’t lemony enough)

  15. Danielle says:

    Thanks for this. I’m in desperate need of something sweet in the middle of this diet and your guidence is welcomed. I legit laughed out loud like a crazy person in my house when I read your review of #23.

  16. Barbara says:

    Enjoyed your witty Halo Top review. We’ve been going a bit crazy w/Ben & Jerry recently-2 for 6 bucks @ our ACME. Can’t beat that but really need to lose those calories! Intending to try some Halo-for some reason I’ve passed on it, but thanks to you, look forward to a new treat.

    • Junk Male says:

      Thanks Barbara! With the tradeoff in cals comes a tradeoff in flavor, but try any of the top recommendations from this list and see what you think! If the top few won’t win you over, then this brand just ain’t for you. Hope you love it!

  17. sbrnyc752 says:

    NYC finally got the new flavors AND they were on sale for $3.50 so…I basically replaced dinner with Halo Top for a week. Pumpkin Pie is everything! One of the best ice creams out there, protein or not. Flavor, texture, everything is spot on and I’m not generally pumpkin spice cray. I agree that Candy Bar is good, but SO sweet. Too sweet. It would have benefit from a saltier caramel to better balance the sweetness. Pancakes and Waffles was revolting. They should rename it Walden Farms flavor because that’s exactly what it tastes like–a cold, pint full of Walden Farms syrup. I got through as much as I could and had to toss the pint, I couldn’t even finish it which has basically never happened in my life. I’m a little skeeved out by the cream cheese in the cinnamon roll ingredients but that is next on the list. I also love Oatmeal, Chocolate Almond (Amaretto!), Peanut Butter and Vanilla. NYCers–I found Enlightened Cookie and Brownies at-Fairway on 125th!!

  18. Olivia says:

    I AM CONFUSED! I got Mochi Green Tea and it is the texture of softened marshmallow fluff. I ignored the word “mochi” when I bought it and was pleasantly surprised by the mochi balls as well BUT thank god they were in there because the ice cream base tasted like marshmallow perfume that sat in the fridge. Did I get a faulty pint? Why won’t it freeze to an acceptable ice cream texture!?
    PS: I wish I read these reviews before I bought banana the same day

    • Junk Male says:

      Rough day in the freezer aisle! Yeah “marshmallow perfume” is a good way to describe the flavor. I don’t know what happened on that one…

  19. c says:

    OK…. I hate mix ins and I hate sweetness, so I think I can just use your review in reverse order ! Thanks for tasting all these because it has taken me a year (!) to eat two flavors of Yassos…