REVIEW: Ranking All 17 Halo Top Flavors

ATTN: Half-naked women of social media!

Hi there! You probably stumbled upon this article whilst on an elliptical operating in a legendary caloric deficit. You desperately want some sweets in your life, but you’re trying hard to look someone else’s definition of “good” in that bikini competition you’re prepping for. Halo Top has you covered!

Note: If you’re a guy reading this, I promise I won’t tell anyone. 

Halo Top Ice Cream.

Halo Top Ice Cream.

Halo Top Ice Cream is low-calorie, high-protein, and low-sugar. It uses all-natural ingredients and presumably some kind of sorcery to taste like real ice cream, according to every fit chick with 50K followers on Instagram.

Well, I brush my teeth with real ice cream, so who better to review and rank each flavor than a fat guy like me?

Halo Top varieties range from 240 to 360 calories PER PINT, after subtracting calories from fiber and sugar alcohol because apparently you can do that. That means you can (and should) eat 4 pints of Halo Top in one sitting instead of an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s, which you were gonna do anyway (and still probably will).

Let’s get right to it… you’re starving.

1) Red Velvet.

Red Velvet Halo Top

Red Velvet Halo Top

Are you surprised that the best flavor happens to be the one with the most calories? Low-calorie or not, Red Velvet Halo Top is an excellent red velvet interpretation. The flavor here is a delicate balance of cocoa and vanilla that favors the former, as red velvet should. The key here is that it’s not just chocolate – that’s the modern-day cop-out for red velvet. This is creamier than most other flavors (probably because it’s the fattest), and it has the most indulgent mix-in of all: brownie dough! Forget about Bikini Season, ladies… it’s Brownie Dough Season now.

1/2 Cup: 90 calories, 6g Protein, 14g Carbs, 3g Fat, 7g sugar & 4g sugar alcohol. 

2) Oatmeal Cookie.

Oatmeal Cookie Halo Top

Oatmeal Cookie Halo Top

Oatmeal cookies never get the love they deserve, but I do kinda wanna make love to Oatmeal Cookie Halo Top. The base has a sinfully sweet cinnamon flavor. Really, it does. While there aren’t real cookie bits in here, there’s plenty of rolled oats to bring the oatmeal flavor together. It reminds me a little of brown sugar oatmeal but, most of all, it reminds me of a baked oatmeal cookie. Some raisins could have put this flavor in the top spot, but a single raisin could cost you first callouts in that bikini competition you’ve been prepping for. Just give up and eat a pizza like the rest of us, would ya?

1/2 Cup: 70 calories, 6g Protein, 12g Carbs, 2.5 Fat, 5g sugar & 4g sugar alcohol. 

3) Peanut Butter Cup.

Peanut Butter Cup Halo Top

Peanut Butter Cup Halo Top

I enjoyed this one so much that I forgot to take a picture of the ice cream while enjoying it, so here’s the empty carton. There are gigantic globs of peanut butter in the Peanut Butter Cup Halo Top, and you can never go wrong with gigantic globs of peanut butter. The PB is adequately salted and keeps this ice cream genuine to real-people food. The chocolate/PB ratio is about 50/50, but it’s still one of the most chocolatey flavors in the lineup. It’s not as sweet as a Reese’s cup, so you’ll have to stick to eating Reese’s in your dreams for now. Soon you’ll be able to enjoy them in Heaven when you’re finally dead. When does this diet end, anyway?

1/2 Cup: 80 calories, 6g Protein, 12g Carbs, 3g Fat, 5g sugar & 4g sugar alcohol. 

4) S’mores.

S'mores Halo Top.

S’mores Halo Top

S’mores is everyone’s favorite summer flavor, but you’re not allowed to eat real food in the summer. That changes now. The S’mores Halo Top has an impressive amount of cinnamon graham crunch blended throughout the pint, ensuring graham isn’t an afterthought like in some s’mores ice creams. Mini chocolate chips give a burst of cocoa necessary for the s’mores experience. The base isn’t perfectly marshmallow, but it’s sweeter than their Vanilla Bean flavor and therefore marshmallow-y enough to fill in the gap between the graham crunch and chocolate chips. My physique is marshmallow-y enough too, so you should probably trust me when I say that this is a solid s’mores ice cream.

1/2 Cup: 80 calories, 6g Protein, 14g Carbs, 2.5g Fat, 7g sugar & 4g sugar alcohol. 

5) Mint Chip.

Mint Chip Halo Top

Mint Chip Halo Top

An extremely careful scrutiny of Halo Top ice creams might reveal a modest taste of protein concentrate in some of the flavors. But mint does a wonderful job masking any of these flaws, much like an Instagram filter does a good job masking yours. The Mint Halo Top has a mild but immensely soothing peppermint flavor. The chocolate is like a creamy white chocolate, and there are also little chocolate chips, though there should be more. But that’s all you really want these days, isn’t it? A little chocolate? Dieting blows.

1/2 Cup: 60 calories, 6g Protein, 14g Carbs, 2g Fat, 4g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

6) Lemon Cake.

Lemon Cake Halo Top

Lemon Cake Halo Top

Yes, the same lemon in that 3-day juice cleanse you tried that only lasted 3 hours. But instead of cayenne pepper, this one is flavored like cake! The Lemon Cake Halo Top has a refreshing tartness paired with a silky & buttery base. If I really use my imagination to pinpoint it, I felt like I was eating pound cake covered in Fruity Pebbles at times. You’re going to have to use a lot of imagination to get through this crash diet of yours. It’s the only way that steamed broccoli with mustard isn’t going to taste like shit.

1/2 Cup: 60 calories, 6g Protein, 14g Carbs, 2g Fat, 4g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

7) Sea Salt Caramel.

Sea Salt Caramel Halo Top

Sea Salt Caramel Halo Top

Stick with that imagination of yours and go swimming in the small pools of buttery caramel present in the Sea Salt Caramel Halo Top. This is one of the sweeter flavors in the line, so obviously that vaults it into the Top 10. It’s also impressively genuine under the circumstances. This base is more identifiable as “caramel” than many competitors’ versions – even Ben & Jerry’s. Remember Ben & Jerry? You used to be friends with them before you even knew what a thigh gap was. Your life hasn’t been the same since.

1/2 Cup: 70 calories, 6g Protein, 13g Carbs, 2g Fat, 6g sugar & 4g sugar alcohol. 

8) Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Halo Top

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Halo Top

The base of the Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Halo Top isn’t the most impressive, but there are chunks of cookie dough throbbing throughout this pint. Behind the brownie dough from Red Velvet, the cookie dough pieces are the second-best mix-in the companies offers. We’re talking real cookie dough here – nothing insincere about it. The base is just kind of a generic, buttery sweetness, but oh my God the things you would do to a stick of butter right now.

1/2 Cup: 90 calories, 6g Protein, 14g Carbs, 3g Fat, 7g sugar & 4g sugar alcohol. 

9) Chocolate Almond Crunch

Chocolate Almond Crunch Halo Top

Chocolate Almond Crunch Halo Top

The Chocolate Almond Crunch Halo Top tastes nothing like what you’d expect. The chocolate is a complete miss here, but let me tell you why I like this one. If you’re a fat Italian goombah like me, you might have grown up eating those S-shaped Stella D’oro cookies that nobody buys but us. This pint tastes exactly like those cookies; strong hints of almond and vanilla in every bite, with crunchy almond bits to drive the flavor home. I don’t know what the hell happened to the chocolate, but chocolate is your devil anyway.

1/2 Cup: 70 calories, 6g Protein, 11g Carbs, 2.5g Fat, 5g sugar & 4g sugar alcohol. 

10) Vanilla Bean

Vanilla Bean Halo Top

Vanilla Bean Halo Top

How the hell did a flavor so plain crack the Top 10? Plain is your middle name right now. Plain grilled chicken, plain asparagus, plain everything. But the Vanilla Halo Top is one you shouldn’t sleep on. Instead of just vanilla extract, this one adds real vanilla beans to provide a bold, natural vanilla flavor. It’s a little icy but this shouldn’t be too unnatural for you. You drink two gallons of ice water each day to try and flush away an entire lifetime of bad decisions.

1/2 Cup: 60 calories, 6g Protein, 14g Carbs, 2g Fat, 4g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

11) Birthday Cake.

Birthday Cake Halo Top.

Birthday Cake Halo Top

Sprinkles! The Birthday Cake Halo Top does taste a lot like yellow cake with super sweet frosting. While it satisfies, it proves to be a bit much in large doses. This is one flavor where you can taste the stevia more than you’d like to. Also, the sprinkles. You ever take fistful of sprinkles to the face? It’s not the best flavor, but you taste it an awful lot here. Imagine dumping a healthy pour of sprinkles into a vanilla protein shake, then freezing it, then crying because all you want is a slice of cake. That’s Birthday Cake Halo Top.

1/2 Cup: 70 calories, 6g Protein, 15g Carbs, 2g Fat, 5g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

12) Strawberry.

Strawberry Halo Top

Strawberry Halo Top

Strawberry Halo Top might be the most true to its full fat competition in the whole lineup. There’s nothing artificial about this strawberry – tastes like frozen strawberries. There’s plenty of natural sweetness just like in the fruit. Did you find this review boring? That’s because strawberry ice cream, in general, is boring. ?

1/2 Cup: 70 calories, 6g Protein, 15g Carbs, 2g Fat, 5g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

13) Black Cherry.

Black Cherry Halo Top

Black Cherry Halo Top

Another snoozer, but there’s really nothing WRONG with the Black Cherry Halo Top. This one has nice chunks of soft dark cherries to give you something to chew on. They offer a natural sweetness and a slight tartness, but some mini chocolate chips would have gone a long way here. Without them, this is a little too similar to the acai bowl you had for breakfast AND lunch. You know, the one where you added a bunch of fruit just to hide the kale and spinach you blended in there. I guess there’s a market for this flavor but it’s not me.

1/2 Cup: 70 calories, 6g Protein, 12g Carbs, 1.5g Fat, 5g sugar & 4g sugar alcohol. 

14) Chocolate.

Chocolate Halo Top.

Chocolate Halo Top

The Chocolate Halo Top tastes like chocolate, and that’s cool and all, but let me tell you what chocolate it tastes like. It tastes exactly like a Fudgesicle. You know, those $1 ice cream bars that you got from the ice cream truck when Mom and Dad didn’t give you enough to get a Choco Taco? I used to work on an ice cream truck; I watched plenty of kids eat Fudgesicles, but they were never smiling all that much. This one won’t make you smile all that much.

1/2 Cup: 60 calories, 6g Protein, 14g Carbs, 2g Fat, 4g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

15) Pistachio.

Pistachio.

Pistachio Halo Top

Pistachio Halo Top is a straightforward flavor that’s a tough sell next to pints with cake and cookies and s’mores printed in the title. It’s hard for a guy who reviews cupcakes like me to get too excited for this one. And honestly, there’s not much excitement in this pint. The nutty pistachio flavor is there but it’s awfully light. There are no crunchy pistachio bits or anything, which hurts a lot. It’s a huge miss that pistachios aren’t even an ingredient in the recipe. However, the pistachio flavor does build as you continue to eat it. Pistachio diehards on strict diets might enjoy this flavor if they existed.

1/2 Cup: 60 calories, 6g Protein, 11g Carbs, 1.5g Fat, 4g sugar & 4g sugar alcohol. 

16) Chocolate Mocha Chip.

Chocolate Mocha Chip.

Chocolate Mocha Chip Halo Top.

Chocolate Mocha Chip Halo Top really fails to deliver in my honest opinion. Their chocolate isn’t the best to begin with, and the coffee flavoring introduces a bitter element that kinda makes it worse. The chips are really tiny and mostly flavorless – not the burst of chocolate I was hoping for. It’s kind of chalky too, and there’s a lasting artificial sweetness that wasn’t very satisfying. Black coffee is one of the few things you allow yourself, so you probably want to avoid this.

1/2 Cup: 70 calories, 6g Protein, 14g Carbs, 2.5g Fat, 4g sugar & 5g sugar alcohol. 

17) Cookies & Cream.

Cookies & Cream Halo Top

Cookies & Cream Halo Top

A surprise at last place, the Cookies & Cream Halo Top is the one I wouldn’t recommend to anyone. There’s lots of cookies crumbs blended into the pint, but they don’t carry enough cocoa or chocolate flavor to distract from the real problem. This base has too much of an extracty flavor. It leaves an undesirable aftertaste that is impossible to ignore. Imagine letting half an Oreo dissolve entirely in a huge glass of almond milk, and then spiking with vanilla extract. Not good. It’s an even greater disappointment that this one clocked in over the 300 calorie mark. Maybe I just eat too many Oreos (definitely), but something is off here.

*UPDATED*: In August 2017, Halo Top began advertising a reformulated Cookies & Cream. I tried it and they did reduce that extracty bite, but it only revealed that this is a flawed flavor at its core. They should have used their more flavorful vanilla bean base, and the cookie crumbs are still sorry excuses for cookies. Still the worst.

1/2 Cup: 80 calories, 6g Protein, 14g Carbs, 2.5g Fat, 7g sugar & 4g sugar alcohol. 

Summary

Though I don’t plan on competing in anything other than hot dog-eating competitions, I was mostly impressed with Halo Top’s light ice cream. Products that are only a fraction of the nutrition of leading brands must vastly outperform that fraction on flavor in order to be successful. Halo Top delivers on that benchmark with the exception of only a few flavors. My preference is still to eat a lesser amount of full-fat ice cream on most days, but the option to crush an entire pint on the couch without bloating like Jabba the Hutt is enticing enough to warrant an occasional purchase.

In summary, eat Halo Top if you want to get fatter a little more slowly.

Rating If Your Name is Ben or Jerry Rating: 6 out of 10
Rating If You’re a Fit Chick on Instagram Rating: OMG out of 10
Overall Rating: 7.5 out of 10

Related Reading: 

REVIEW: Ranking All 22 ENLIGHTENED Flavors

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23 Responses

  1. Caitlin J says:

    I actually really enjoy every Halo Top flavor I’ve tried (except for the chocolate mocha chip, which didn’t taste anything like coffee to me and go figure – coffee isn’t even found on the ingredients list!)
    However, these newer flavors haven’t popped up anywhere for me! Where did you find them? They aren’t cheap either, I can’t imagine how much money you spent on this review! I do appreciate this review very much. I’m a HUGE red velvet and cookies and cream person, so I was torn between which one to try first – you helped me with that (once I do find them). Thank you! <3

    • Junk Male says:

      The flavors are getting a slower rollout than I think anticipated. Kroger stores have been amongst the first to sell. I was fortunate that Halo Top offered to send me the 10 new ones – I purchased the remainder. They didn’t require me to post about them and it didn’t affect my scoring!

      • Caitlin J says:

        Lucky!!!! Have you ever heard of Enlightened’s Ice Cream Pints? I usually get them from Shoprite and I’m OBSESSED. I wonder how these new Halo Top flavors will compare since they’re more similar in terms of calories. I can only find Halo Top in Wegman’s and my store said they won’t have the new flavors available until closer to the end of the year (close, but still too far), unfortunately I don’t live near a Kroger 🙁

        • Junk Male says:

          I haven’t tried Enlightened yet but I plan to soon. It’s harder to find in Maryland for me. With Halo Top, I can only find at Wegmans and Whole Foods but both haven’t gotten the new flavors yet either. Stay patient!

          • Caitlin J says:

            No way, I’m from Maryland, too! Harford County to be specific, but yeah I haven’t been able to find Halo Top anywhere except for Wegmans (well, I did notice Shoprite started carrying it but only the vanilla and they’re always sold out). Wegmans is my only hope for it haha

          • Junk Male says:

            I used to live in Bel Air! I’m currently living down in Baltimore.

    • Dominic Flaim says:

      Price is why I haven’t tried more of these, but I intend to. I’m only replying to you because the one time I tried HT was Lemon Cake found for 50 or 75 cents at a discount store, and I wish I would have grabbed more than 1!

  2. Marc P says:

    Another wicked informative post. Thanks.
    Never heard of this but intrigued. And yes I’m a guy and ain’t afraid to admit it. 🙂

    When I first saw homepage, it looked like a shooting gallery at at a fair with point values.

  3. Steph says:

    I just laughed out loud spitting grilled chicken, steamed broccoli and mustard onto my screen. I shed a few tears because you are so spot-on with this posting. For good measure, I washed my meal down with black coffee and continued to read your reviews.

    • Junk Male says:

      This comment makes me happy. Glad you enjoyed! I’ve been there and done that with yellow mustard on everything, and I still drink my coffee black. I once ate peanut butter & jelly on lettuce. From crash diets to juice cleanses to running a junk food blog, I’ve done it all. This was really fun to write because of it.

  4. cait says:

    Seriously freaking hilarious- I am a skinny white girl who lives in the gym/counting macros and I should be offended by this post but instead I just find it really really funny so thanks for that. And yeah- if I’m going to eat ice cream you better dang believe I’m going to google what the best tasting flavor is before I go and weigh it out on my little scale.. but really..

    • Junk Male says:

      Haha, I’m glad you found this useful and entertaining Caitlin! I meant no disrespect of course. I’ve had my experience counting macros strictly to draw from too. Even then, I was able to step outside and laugh at the absurdity of some of it.

  5. Awesome review, TY! Being the geek that I am I had to read reviews before buying, now I know what to try first, peanut butter! Happy first day of Spring ?

  6. Kim Martin says:

    Agree Peanut Butter Cup is one of the best flavors but think Chocolate Mocha Chip deserves a top ranking…my favorite! S’mores was the biggest disappointment because I was expecting a Chocolate base – not vanilla. Wish Halo Top would place a brief description on each carton, especially considering the price.

  7. Esther Newberg says:

    I have eaten the vanilla, chocolate chip and birthday. They all taste the same to me. I will continue purchasing the
    vanilla. I did put some light chocolate syrup on it.. Costco’s is the bet place to buy this ice cream. Will continue eating this wonderful ice cream

  8. mykia says:

    Chocolate Mocha Chip is my favorite. I was surprised to see it at the bottom. I love it.

  9. Ardith Meadow says:

    Hey junk guy, don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining! That pint of Sea Salt Caramel I didn’t even finish. REASONS: 1.) Higher price 2.) Where’s the caramel? I dug and dug. 3.) Ice crystals throughout. 4.) NOT creamy. Will not buy again.

    • Junk Male says:

      Let’s talk, Ardith. The higher price is a sunk cost and shouldn’t affect you finishing it. The rest of your points can be valid but mine had caramel in it. Sadly inconsistency in mix-ins is a problem we see in many companies. Same with ice crystals, but due to Halo’s makeup it’s especially important to let it temper fully. They’ll be the first to tell you that. Once tempered mine was creamy with no ice crystals. Point is, I didn’t lie to you. We just had different experiences!

  10. Cynthia Freeman says:

    Tried the red velvet and oatmeal cookie. On sale at Shoprite in NJ for 2.88 had a 2$ off coupon. Oatmeal cookie was superb nice cinnamon flavor chewy oats finished it all. Red velvet was good but I tasted alcohol appreciated the brownie chunks and nice red color and texture. Will try the chic peanut butter and lemon cake just to see if they measure up. I have extra coupons would never buy these at the regular price of 4.78 a pint.

  11. Julie Esposito-Mendoza says:

    I love your reviews Junk Male!

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