Welp, another year of being a fat, lazy slob is in the books. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m certainly looking to do a little better in 2017.

Here are some of my goals for the new year:

  1. Become a better writer.
  2. Get my first blog hit.
  3. Stop eating so much junk food.  Stop looking like I eat so much junk food.

Portion control. I need to start exercising better portion control, and then I need to start exercising… period.

In 2016 I ate too many Milka Oreo Big Crunch Bars in November alone – two. The bars are huge, and I’m a much huger man for taking down multiples before Thanksgiving (and probably some during it).

The new Milka Oreo Chocolate Candy Bars come in more appropriate sizes, intended for normal human being consumption.

Portion control.

Milka Oreo Chocolate Candy Bars

Milka Oreo Chocolate Candy Bars

Ok, let’s be real. The only thing up for grabs in this review is whether you should buy one colossal Big Crunch Bar, three king-size Oreo Chocolate Candy Bars, or 10 of the single-serve Oreo Chocolate Candy Bars. The Big Crunch Bar is constructed a little differently than the other two, so here we will examine if the differences impact quality at all.

But really, I just wanted an excuse to eat these things again.

Milka Oreo Chocolate Candy Bar

Portion Control!

Other than the size, the biggest difference between the two new Oreo Chocolate Candy Bars are the shape. The single-serve bars are more rounded and bulbous, while the king-size bar is flatter.

Here’s the money shot of the insides:

Milka Oreo Chocolate Candy Bars

Single-serve bar (Top), King-size Bar (Bottom)

These two Milka Oreo Chocolate Candy Bars are filled with Oreo creme and then there bits of Oreo cookies wafers sandwiches sporadically throughout said creme. The above photo suggests that the single-serve bars have more cookies than the king-sized bar, but this isn’t really the case as you work through them. Thankfully there was plenty of cookies hiding closer to the center of each rectangular piece in the king-sized bar.

A few points to make about all three versions:

  • The Milka European chocolate is of superior quality.
  • The milk chocolate is extra creamy, melting effortlessly in your mouth.
  • The Oreo creme is soft and pillowy, providing great textural contrast.
  • The cookie wafers are plentiful and provide classic, signature Oreo flavor.

But are there any significant differences between the new Milka Oreo Chocolate Candy Bars and the Milka Oreo Big Crunch Bar? I couldn’t be sure from memory alone, so I used this as an excuse to buy a third Oreo Big Crunch Bar.

Milka Oreo Chocolate Candy Bars


Significant? Nah, not really.

The Milka Oreo Big Crunch Bar has a single, thick layer of Oreo cookie wafer at its core, surrounded by two thinner layer of Oreo Creme. What this does is provide a touch more of the deepest flavor in a standard Oreo cookie – the wafer. This cuts the sweetness a tinge, arguably providing a more balanced product. It’s a fantastic sensation having your teeth cut through a crispy milk chocolate shell to the soft creme to the crunchy Oreo cookie wafer in rapid succession.

The Milka Oreo Chocolate Candy Bars have a touch more creme overall (at least as I perceive it). I find the creme to be the tastiest component. The more random dispersion of the Oreo cookie wafers makes it chew more like a standard cookies & creme candy bar. There’s still enough cookie bits throughout the bar to provide plenty of the bitter chocolate cookie flavor you associate with the Oreo though.

For whatever reason, I slightly prefer the more predictable texture of the Big Crunch Bar and that thick cookie layer in the center. That’s about it.

As expected, the new Milka Oreo Chocolate Candy Bars are outstanding products and welcomed additions to the family. There are minor structural differences between each bar, but they provide only slightly different textural experiences and only negligible differences to the overall taste.

Pick your poison; it never tasted so good.

Cookie Poison Rating: 9.5 out of 10
Actual Poison Rating: 0 out of 10
Overall Rating: 9 out of 10

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