Do you remember when you were a kid and the back of the cereal box meant something? I would always lose myself in the illustrations or, if I was really lucky, I would be treated to a game.

Feeling a bit nostalgic, I recently did this with the new Post Cinnamon Pebbles.

This turned out to be a horrible idea.

Post Cinnamon Pebbles

Post Cinnamon Pebbles

The back of Post Cinnamon Pebbles issues a challenge: to complete a checklist of ten things before the box is empty. You should know that I’m a fiercely competitive person and I don’t back down from a challenge… especially not one from a cereal box. The problem is – I might finish the whole damn box in one sitting if this cereal is any good. So I have to do all ten things right now…

Welp, let’s get started.

1. Re-name five things.

The example they provide is that a spoon is now a “scoopalator” or a “floingplotz.” Accordingly:

  1. A clock is now a “timeatron.”
  2. A car is now a “landboat.”
  3. A toilet bowl is now a “poop catcher.”
  4. A voicemail is now a “loud text message.”
  5. Breakfast is now “Rise & Dine.”

2. Smell a flower.

Smells fake.

3. Draw a monster.

4. Pet three animals.

This is when it started to get annoying, because I don’t have any pets.

I took a walk to the dog park. Let me tell you – it is no small task explaining to a stranger why I’m listening to my cereal box, and also why they need to take a picture of me petting their dogs.

But alas:

5. Make up a joke.

Why did the middle-aged man start a food blog?

Because he had no friends.

6. Make a new friend.


This is Rich. He likes to frequent the dog park with his son, and I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m a psychopath.

7. Think about milk.

8. Write a letter.

9. Do a silly dance.

10. Eat a bowl of Pebbles with a fork.

Fucking finally.

Post Cinnamon Pebbles is a terrible cereal. The cinnamon isn’t strong, they’re not as sweet as I hoped, and all of the flavor washes away in milk. You’re better off dumping ground cinnamon onto Rice Krispies and adding your own sugar. As always, the Pebbles get mushy at the mere sight of milk. I would never buy this over Cinnamon Toast Crunch or even Cinnamon Frosted Flakes… not in a million years.

All that work for nothing…

Except the sweet taste of victory over my cereal box.

The Feeling When You Defeat Your Cereal Box Rating: 9 out of 10
Probability That Rich Considers Me a Friend
: 0 out of 10
Overall Rating: 5 out of 10

Our friends at Cerealously reviewed Cinnamon Pebbles too! Read their thoughts here!

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2 Responses

  1. Sheila says:

    Was being told to eat the cereal with a fork a hint that the real prize was the milk? Did the cinnamon run-off make the milk a cinnamony delight? You did so much work, there should be some payoff!

    • Junk Male says:

      The milk was ok lol; nothing special. I use a really neutral almond milk and once these things were wet, it’s still all I tasted. If I wanted Rice Krispies (and trust me, I don’t), then I would have bought Rice Krispies!