Those Who Rise the Fastest, Fall the Hardest” ~ Unknown (Made Up)

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the story of Lemon Blueberry.

Nestle Toll House Blueberry Lemon Cookies

Lemon Blueberry.

2016 was a helluva year for Lemon Blueberry. It began the year with a meteoric rise from relative obscurity to instant stardom. Lemon Blueberry shocked the world last February when it won the prestigious “Flavor of the Year” Award that Thomas’ Bagels definitely made up.

Success was fleeting. A young and brash junk food blogger exposed the truth when he declared Lemon Blueberry a waste of everyone’s time. Not ready to deal with pressure, Lemon Blueberry folded and was pulled from bagel shelves within a month. It vanished suddenly and silently, and has not been heard from since. Junk Banter reached out to Lemon Blueberry for an interview last December, but LB declined.

Here are the most exciting articles I found when I Google’d “What happened to Lemon Blueberry.

In other words, nothing.

Hoping for a fresh start, Lemon Blueberry changed its name to “Blueberry Lemon” at some point during the year. Its first public appearance since comes via the new Nestle Toll House Blueberry Lemon Cookies.

I’m finally going to get my damn interview.

Nestle Tollhouse Blueberry Lemon Cookies

Nestle Toll House Blueberry Lemon Cookies

Junk Banter: Yo, Lemon Blueberry, WTF?

Blueberry Lemon: Sorry about that.

Junk Banter: You trying to ruin the cookies too now?

Blueberry Lemon: The bagel thing didn’t work out, but I’ve always said the best kind of bread is cookies.

Junk Banter: Amen.

Nestle Tollhouse Blueberry Lemon Cookies

We call that “finding common ground.”

Nestle Toll House Blueberry Lemon Cookies are made with natural lemon flavor, blueberry filling, & poppy seeds.

When I took my first bite, I thought the lemon flavor was weak and was about to cuss Lemon Blueberry out once again. But a strong blueberry tartness followed quickly, which transitioned effortlessly to an authentic lemon finish. It was slightly sweet, slightly sour, and totally worked better than the bagels. A few more bites and I realize there is a lot of complexity here.

The bastard finally figured it out. 

Nestle Toll House Blueberry Lemon Cookies

The blueberry filling is the best part of the Nestle Toll House Blueberry Lemon Cookies. There’s lots of it packed neatly into the center of the lemon poppy seed cookie dough, and it doesn’t ooze out while baking. The best way I can describe it is a more viscous Blueberry Pop Tart filling. The lemon flavor that follows is bright and refreshing. Elements of a traditional sugar cookie are in the background of every bite. The poppy seeds got in my teeth. They’re fine.

Nestle Toll House Blueberry Lemon Cookies are strong alternatives to the more popular cookie flavors. These are worth a pick-up if you’re craving fruit but also saturated fat. They’re a lot better than I was expecting; a highly enjoyable change of pace from chocolate and the like.

Welcome back, Blueberry Lemon. You’ll be discontinued in a month.

Dodging Interviews with Famous Junk Food Blogs Rating: 0 out of 10
Poppy Seeds Stuck In Your Teeth Rating: 3 out of 10
Overall Rating: 8 out of 10

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2 Responses

  1. Anon says:

    How about a peanut butter cookie with marshmallow fluff filling? Or a chocolate cookie with cheesecake filling…

    • Junk Male says:

      Loooove the peanut butter cookie with marshmallow idea!! Something like that hasn’t been done before. Fluffernutter cookie dough, yum.