REVIEW: Twix Dark

Note: Twix Dark Chocolate was sent to me by Mars free of charge. The product will hit stores in late May 2017. Mars didn’t require a review and I wasn’t paid to post about it. However, I feel obligated to discuss Twix Dark Chocolate. Find out why below.

My demands in life are simple:

  1. A roof over my head.
  2. A bed to sleep in.
  3. A milk, white, and dark chocolate version of every candy bar so I can compare them all.

Twix Dark has landed and I can finally fulfill Demand #3. The roof and the bed can wait.

Twix Dark

Twix Dark

I was tickled to shit when Mars released White Twix last year, then disappointed as shit when it tasted like shit. In general I consider the white chocolate versions of candy bars the most fun. On rare occasion, it’s actually the best version entirely (see: White Reese’s Eggs).

As for dark chocolate? Dark chocolate is the most fancy. The most sophisticated. The darkest.

Twix Dark

Of course it’s completely possible that the best Twix is simply Twix. The standard milk chocolate Twix is easily in the Top 5 Candy Bar List for anyone who knows anything about anything. My preference usually sways heavily in dark chocolate’s favor, but fancy isn’t always better when it comes to candy. The simple satisfaction of sweet milk chocolate, caramel, and cookies doesn’t exactly beg for improvement.

But OMG, like WHAT IF IT DOES?

Twix Dark

OMFG, IT’S SO MUCH BETTER I KNEW IT.

Twix Dark consists of cookies bars, caramel, and… (hang with me)… dark chocolate. One pack comes with two bars inside – Left Twix Dark and Right Twix Dark. Both are better than their milk chocolate counterparts. By a longshot.

It comes down to a few simple things. First, Mars’ dark chocolate is better quality than their milk chocolate. It’s just more refined and doesn’t feel cheap at all. Second, the dark chocolate is less sweet by nature which really lets the sweetness of the caramel shine more brightly. The chocolate and caramel’s distinct contributions to the final equation become more clear than they do in regular Twix. The contrast in sweetness between the two is what really elevates this candy to something more complex. The cookie’s role is steady and secure, providing the classic Twix flavor you already love.

Twix Dark

I’m in a tough spot when I try to sell you this hard on something that was sent to me for free. But I assure you, Twix Dark is amazing. I brought in extras to a classroom full of 20 adult humans who don’t review junk food as a hobby and none of them would shut up about how great these are. Skeptics might say: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” But I counter with this: “If it ain’t broke, break it.” Sometimes playing with a few variables just because can yield something special. In the case of Twix Dark, it’s a huge improvement and I will never buy a regular Twix again as long as Twix Dark is sold.

Once you go dark…

Left Twix Rating: 9 out of 10
Right Twix Rating: 10 out of 10
Overall Rating: 9.5 out of 10

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11 Responses

  1. dithmer says:

    Words cannot express how excited I am for this.

  2. I gave Dark Chocolate Twix a 9 just based on the name alone.

  3. Sonya says:

    I LOVE your blog and all of the vicarious eating, but just wanted to share that I get an unusual number of security checks when reading your blog. Today, I was reading for 15 minutes and got three requests from Site Lock to enter their security capcha words. The page stops becoming visible and the phrase “junkbanter.com requires an additional security check” appears. I have never seen this on a blog, but yours has it happen all the time. Thanks in advance for your help with this! And, again, thank you for your most amazing blog!!!!!!

    • Junk Male says:

      Thanks so much for this comment Sonya. I’ve been researching this issue more frequently lately and finally placed a call the other day to get it addressed. Long story short, I just upgraded my firewall protection and am having that additional security check page turned off. If you’re still experiencing this message in a day or so, please e-mail me at junkbanter@gmail.com! Thank you for being a loyal fan.

      • Sonya says:

        Oh cool!!! So glad to hear that, and I will email you if it still happens in a few days. You’re very welcome!

      • Sonya says:

        Thank-you so much for fixing this! I haven’t gotten the message again – yay! I really appreciate your looking into this and just wanted to report back that it is working great now.

  4. Vik says:

    I love the dark chocolate Twix. My problem is finding a place that carries them! Of my 4 local drugstore/convenience stores, only one of them carries this product. In general, I see the dark chocolate variations of candies being carried less and less often 🙁

    I guess a solution is to buy a whole box on the Internet. But having that much of this around is dangerous!! Haha

    • Junk Male says:

      Completely agree on this candy and YES I’ve only been able to find it at random gas stations! I’m hoping they have plans to really amp it up soon…

  5. Kate says:

    I love these Dark Twix so much that I searched your website to make sure you have tried them. I completely agree with your review and a regular Twix just doesn’t cut it anymore. 😬

    • Junk Male says:

      It makes me so happy that others enjoy this as much as I do! And thanks for looking out for me… it would have been a tragic life lived if I didn’t have these in them.

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