REVIEW (x3): Hostess Ice Cream Novelties*

Okay, okay…

*Hostess FROZEN DAIRY Novelties.

Hostess Ice Cream Novelties

Hostess Ice Cream Frozen Dairy Novelties

Nestle Dreyer’s recently rolled out some limited edition ice creams inspired by everyone’s favorite lunch box snack cakes: Hostess Twinkies Ice Cream, Hostess Cupcakes Ice Cream, and Hostess Sno Balls Ice Cream. Though the execution was a mixed bag, I found the link to the packaged cakes fun and playful across the board. I truly felt like a kid again as I ate them in my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pajamas at age 31.

But when I get nostalgic and think of my favorite ice cream adventures as an obese child, I think of furiously waddling down the street chasing down the following music:

The Great Hostess Ice Cream Launch of 2017 also includes three novelties, or the type of products you’d find on an ice cream truck. The three products are a Twinkies Cone, a Sno Balls Bar, and a Ding Dongs sandwich. Let’s see how each fares:

Hostess Twinkies Novelty

Hostess Twinkies Novelty

Hostess Twinkies Novelty

The Hostess Twinkies Cone features golden sponge cake crumbles atop cream frozen dairy dessert, stuffed into an ice cream cone.

There are actually two different flavors of frozen dairy dessert in the Twinkies cone. The off-yellow frozen dairy dessert tastes like a cake batter flavor much like the quart/pint version of Twinkies Ice Cream – it’s just lighter in body. Then there’s a vanilla frozen dairy dessert that’s very generic and bland.The two don’t combine in a way that suggests sponge cake with creamy filling. The cake crumbles on top are softer than in the container version and taste pretty good, but there are so few to work with. Once you get past them in literally one second, you don’t get the whole Twinkie thing at all.

The nice surprise was that the inside of the cone is laced with chocolate – right down to that amazing last bite on the bottom tip where there’s a dense piece of chocolate waiting for you. However, this is pretty standard stuff for products like this and feels slightly disjointed with the Twinkies vibe they were going for.

Rating: 6 out of 10

Hostess Sno Balls Novelty

Hostess Sno Balls Novelty

Hostess Sno Balls Novelty

The Sno Balls bar features vanilla and chocolate frozen dairy desserts covered in coconut topping.

The quart/pint version of Sno Balls was my favorite of the three. This bar, however, is constructed completely differently and it suffers as a result. The container version used a marshmallow flavored ice cream with a plentiful coconut swirl that bled into every bite. Here, the switch to mostly chocolate frozen dairy dessert and a ho-hum vanilla really kills the Sno Balls vibe. This kinda just tastes like a Fudgesicle covered in coconut. The coconut crunch coating simply doesn’t carry its weight to warrant the Sno Balls title. Pass on this one.

A bad day for nostalgia thus far.

Rating: 5 out of 10

Hostess Ding Dongs Novelty

Hostess Ding Dong Novelty

Hostess Ding Dongs Novelty

Hostess Ding Dongs novelty is a vanilla frozen dairy dessert sandwich with chocolate coating.

Admittedly the most boring of the three by design, Hostess Ding Dongs sandwich ended up being my favorite. Now now, its flavor is still not the best interpretation of a Ding Dong snack cake. But that thick, cake-y coating actually turns this into a pretty neat little ice cream sandwich. The coating is slightly crispy on the outside and a little softer as it approaches the vanilla frozen dairy dessert. At the very least, the ratio of chocolate-to-vanilla is better aligned with a Ding Dong and the shape surely fits the bill. This is about as good as we could have hoped for here.

Ding Dong Sandwich > Klondike Bar.

Rating: 7 out of 10

The three Hostess novelties aren’t anything special and you can do better by just going outside whenever you hear that cheerful music from the neighborhood ice cream truck. For the price point, though, give the stupid Ding Dong Sandwich a whirl.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some waddling to do.

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