It’s no secret that the summer is the season of the s’more. If you’re not making s’mores right now, then you’re eating s’mores-flavored junk food right now: Dunkin’ Donuts S’mores Donuts, Starbucks S’more Bars, Honey Maid S’mores Cereal, Trader Joe’s Campfire S’mores Bar… hell, there’s even the ridiculous Thomas’ S’mores English Muffins, which must pair really well with this jar of straight S’mores spread that Walmart carries.
If you can’t control yourself around s’mores like me, then your new diet has probably yielded you some new s’mores rolls:
I meant on the body, but Little Debbie also has these new S’mores Cake Rolls on store shelves!
Cramming cakes full of cream is one of the things that Lil’ Debz does best. She’s also really good at cramming other things in there like Eggnog, Pumpkin Spice, and even once, Toothpaste. This is Debbie’s first attempt at anything s’mores related, which begs the question:
“What took the bitch so long?”
I can tell you what she wasn’t doing all this time: perfecting the recipe of these new s’mores rolls.
Little Debbie S’mores Cake Rolls feature a yellow cake, chocolate icing, and a white creme. All of these things taste fine together, but the issues are immediately apparent. The cake doesn’t hint at graham, the chocolate is far too under-represented, and the creme’s marshmallowy-ness is only as strong as your imagination’s.
Though the texture is exactly what a cake roll should be, it actually works against the s’mores flavor concept. The first texture and flavor you experience when you eat a s’mores is crunchy graham cracker. The absence of any crunch and graham flavor creates a complete disconnect between what this is and what you want them to be.
As I worked through the cake roll, I did start to pick up on a sweet vanilla marshmallow flavor. Or, maybe I just have a better imagination than most – I once imagined a world where Donald Trump became President and the next thing I knew, he was. The chocolatey trait is aided by a coating on the bottom, but it’s still nowhere near enough to compensate for the lack of graham altogether. Perhaps a half-chocolate, half-marshmallow creme would have been wise here.
None of this stopped me from eating two of these, but Little Debbie S’mores Cake Rolls are easily her laziest creation yet. It’s a good cake roll but a poor s’mores product.
You can safely pass on them – you have enough s’mores rolls as it is. ?
Amount of S’mores Rolls You Put On This Summer Rating: 3 out of 10
S’mores with No Graham Rating: 5.5 out of 10
Overall Rating: 5.5 out of 10
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