Just because you CAN do something, doesn’t mean you should…
At least that’s the philosophy I enter with as I prepare to try Great Value Tropickles, which are fruit-punch flavored pickles.
These abominations are currently selling at approximately 1,200 Walmart locations, primarily in southern states where combining fruit punch and pickles is actually a thing that people do.
Some people, anyway…
Pardon my French, but what the actual f*ck is going on here? Even if these end up being good, I still think this was a horrible idea and somebody got really, really lucky or really, really high.
If you’re in the 99% of people who didn’t know about Kool-Aid pickles, here’s a simple recipe for making them at home:
- Separate brine from pickles.
- Add Kool Aid mix and sugar to brine.
- Return brine to pickle jar.
- Refrigerate for 5 days.
Now here’s my recipe:
- Don’t do it.
- Do anything else.
Despite my reservations, I’m always open to a stupid idea producing surprising results.
Initial thoughts: I didn’t vomit.
Secondary thoughts: I don’t like these.
Great Value Tropickles are certainly not as pungent as I was expecting. In fact, they shouldn’t be all that unfamiliar if you enjoy Bread & Butter pickles.
Here’s the thing, though: I don’t. I feel like they ruin every sandwich and their sweetness is better suited somewhere else (the garbage). These Great Value Tropickles take it a step further with an artificial berry sweetness that doesn’t even qualify as great fruit punch, because it has vinegar in it. You have to REALLY like pickles and REALLY like fruit punch to appreciate these, and even then I think they land in too funky of a place to crave once the novelty wears off. Mine wore off halfway through the first pickle.
Oh, and if you’re wondering how the pickle juice tastes, it’s just salty, sour fruit punch.
Look, if bizarrely sweet pickles is your thing, have at it. Who am I to judge, after all?
Oh,THAT’S RIGHT, I’m Junk Banter and I have a food blog and you don’t: These pickles are so dumb.
I don’t blame Walmart for this. I blame the South.
How Much I’m On My High Horse Rating: 9 out of 10
How Much I’m Avoiding the South from Now On Rating: 7 out of 10
Overall Rating: 5 out of 10
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