REVIEW: White Pumpkin Pie M&M’s

Just when you thought pumpkin couldn’t get any whiter…

White Pumpkin Pie M&M's

White Pumpkin Pie M&M’s

Really catering to that White Girl demographic, Mars is giving us White Pumpkin Pie M&M’s and my body is so ready (I’ve still got some room left on my right butt cheek).

Sure pumpkin pie is supposed to be orange and we’re supposed to eat it in November (not August), but to hell with it. Pumpkin spices flow through my heart and I’ve long dreamt of a world where I can consume bite-sized pumpkin pies by the handful.

White Pumpkin Pie M&M’s are the delayed successor to 2013’s Pumpkin Spice M&M’s and 2015’s Pumpkin Spice Latte M&M’s. Both of those used milk chocolate, which, based on the historical data (me eating a lot), often overpowers the specialty flavor that the M&M’s contain. Their white chocolate varieties have fared much at this, and I’ll actually fight you if you think there’s a better specialty flavor than pumpkin spice.

White Pumpkin Pie M&M's

It’s a triangle with a hat.

Once I stopped playing with my food and actually ate some of it, I knew quickly we had a contender for my favorite M&M. Maybe not the best, but maybe my favorite…

As expected Mars’ white chocolate works far better with pumpkin spice flavoring. Once the vanilla vibes from the exceptionally creamy white chocolate passed, it felt as if there were miniature pumpkin pies humping each other on my tongue. It didn’t slam me in the face immediately, but the artificial spice flavorings come together nicely and balance appropriately with the white chocolate as it finishes.

White Pumpkin Pie M&M's

I’m about to finish too.

Cinnamon and nutmeg flavor win out over ginger, cloves, and allspice with White Pumpkin Pie M&M’s, and that’s okay. Candy is supposed to be sweet and I like that the pumpkin spice flavor is present but not particularly potent. The white chocolate delivers a dairy component that hints at pumpkin pie filling and its whipped cream topping. Still, a more appropriate name for these would be White Chocolate Pumpkin Spice M&M’s (not pie). I don’t taste any crust, and I’m not sure I want to. These are delicious as is and I hope they become a fall staple.

In summary, I’m glad the developers are colorblind.

Mars’ Ability to Distinguish Between Colors Rating: 0 out of 10
Pumpkin Pies Humping Each Other Rating: 9 out of 10
Overall Rating: 8.5 out of 10

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2 Responses

  1. Nick T says:

    Ha, your pie slice reminds me of the kind of problems we’d do in my college physics class. “Find the coefficient of sliding friction…”

  2. Junk Male says:

    Hahaha oh my God, pumpkin-spiced physics!!

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