REVIEW: General Mills Apple Cinnamon Toast Crunch
In June 2016, General Mills made headlines when it launched its first new cereal brand in FIFTEEN years. The cereal was called Tiny Toast (I’m not sure why) and it generated some serious buzz.
I’m not being facetious – this was actually a really big deal. Stephen Colbert even talked about Tiny Toast’s release on The Late Show, which quickly turned into a Skrillex concert about Tiny Toast, and also featured Chance the Rapper:
Tiny Toast was met with rave reviews (here’s one by some jackass), and to celebrate the anniversary of its successful launch, General Mills has murdered it.
General Mills may have done the deed, but really the true killer is in the mirror – apparently none of us bought Tiny Toast despite how awesome it was. According to market research firm IRI, Tiny Toast sold only 4.5 million boxes in the last year while Cinnamon Toast Crunch was off selling over 110 million.
I’ll confess: I spent more time building tiny, adorable sandwiches with my first box than I did eating and enjoying it. I never repurchased Tiny Toast because one box makes about 2,000 sandwiches, which has kept me busy. (PHOTO: Tiny, adorable sandwich)
Anyway, I’m excited that somebody invited this new Apple Cinnamon Toast Crunch to the funeral.
If you think Apple Cinnamon Toast Crunch looks exactly like Tiny Toast, that’s because it does. In fact, Blueberry Toast Crunch and Strawberry Toast Crunch are the exact same cereals as Tiny Toast, so the only things dead are the name and someone’s job at General Mills’s marketing.
And call them whatever you want, but this cereal tastes really damn good straight from the box. The fruit flavor is bold and authentic just like its blueberry and strawberry siblings. The apple flavor reminds me of those dried apple chips, and to some degree a cinnamon-spiced apple sauce. Dried apples are indeed an ingredient located fairly high on the ingredient list. The cereal has a great soft-crunch to it with a lightly-toasted bread crunch and flavor. You could say they’re like tiny pieces of toast.
… like Tiny Toast 😭.
In milk, Apple Cinnamon Toast Crunch loses only a small amount of flavor. Its crunch holds up well too. I think the cinnamon comes out a bit more at the expense of some apple, which makes this feel at home in the Cinnamon Toast Crunch family. Layered underneath these flavors is the juicy blood of the fallen Tiny Toast. There’s a lot to like here.
Welp, I guess we should have seen the death of Tiny Toast coming from a mile away when Stephen Colbert made fun of it before it even came out. But if its death is responsible for this new flavor to energize the product rebranding, then I say: “See you in Hell, Tiny Toast.”
Odds of Survival When Stephen Colbert Makes Fun of You Rating: 2 out of 10
Impromptu Skrillex Concerts: 6 out of 10
Overall Rating: 8.5 out of 10
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