The two oldest men who influence the things I eat have partnered up.
I’m talking about Santa and the creepy Quaker Oats Man, and they’ve paired to deliver the first gingerbread cereal that’s ever existed. (*Not fact checked; don’t care.)
Spice up your life with new Gingerbread Spice Life Cereal! I’m pretty sure Gingerbread Spice was the name of the dark-skinned Spice Girl I was most attracted to, and I’m hoping for a similar affinity towards this cereal.
Gingerbread Spice Life Cereal follows Pumpkin Spice Life cereal as the calendar marches towards winter, here at the very beginning of fall. I’d love to see them spice something for every occasion, because Life is pretty boring otherwise, and variety is the spice of life.
For example, I’d love a:
- Carrot Cake Spice Life for Easter
- Apple Cider Spice Life for Thanksgiving
- Spiced Rum & Coke Life for New Years
Life is truly a magical place if you just let it be…
…but Quaker and Santa didn’t let it be.
For the first gingerbread-flavored cereal in existence (probably), Gingerbread Spice Life is awfully under-spiced. I should be getting ginger. I should be getting cinnamon, and I should be getting cloves. But all I’m really getting is brown sugar…
I have to admit, though, that I’m still enjoying what’s here. The multigrain cereal if sufficiently sweetened despite only having an almost-healthy 6g of sugar per serving. Very late, I did get a tinge of warming spice, but it’s nondescript and nothing compared to the Big Red-esque cinnamon present in the Pumpkin Spice Life.
Considering it’s gingerbread, the spice I should be getting is ginger.
Of course since it’s Life, this “gingerbread” turns to total mush faster than you can grab your iPhone and take a photo of it for your dumb food blog. It’s this quality I always disliked about Life cereal. Crunch beats mush every time – Cereal 101.
The flavor performs poorly in milk too, in that it all but disappears. Gone is the brown sugar and vague spice, and what remains is just grains. Eat this cereal dry or don’t eat it at all.
Dear Santa & Quaker Man,
Nobody asked for Whole Grain Mush Spice Life.
– You Blew It.
Sporty Spice Rating: 6 out of 10
Scary Spice Rating: 9 out of 10
Overall Rating: 5.5 out of 10
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