Burger King, the popular hamburger and french fry restaurant, is cementing itself as one of the nation’s top producers of breakfast cereal.

After successful runs with the Froot Loops Shake and Lucky Charms Shake, there were only three places left to go:

1. Fruity Pebbles Shake (the best fruity cereal ever).
2. Cinnamon Toast Crunch Shake (the best cereal ever).
3. Back to producing shitty hamburgers.

If you’re going to call yourself a King, you might as well go with the king of breakfast cereal.

Burger King’s Cinnamon Toast Crunch Shake

Burger King’s Cinnamon Toast Crunch Shake

Burger King’s new Cinnamon Toast Crunch Shake is made with vanilla-flavored soft serve, Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal pieces, and a “sweet sauce.”

I rushed to Burger King to review this in my car, because that’s the man I am now.

Staring at a Pizza Hut across the parking lot, I dove in.

Probably going to Pizza Hut after this.

The first sip was a cinnamon assault on my taste buds. It hit some of the right notes initially, but there’s something insincere about this cinnamon. It brings a slight burning sensation like in a cinnamon gum, and there’s even a little perfume-y quality to the shake. Cinnamon definitely overpowers the vanilla soft serve, though the vanilla notes help smooth things out.

The sweet sauce makes this a VERY sweet shake, but Cinnamon Toast Crunch is a very sugary cereal after all. The problem is that the sweet sauce and cinnamon are both turned up to 11. It’s almost like they kept increasing the potency of both to compete with how strong the other already was… just to make sure you got both in each sip. It’s a LOT to process at once…

More importantly, I wasn’t getting a distinct “breakfast cereal” vibe like I did with the Froot Loops and Lucky Charms Shakes.

The Cinnamon Toast Crunch pieces helped remind me what I was supposed to taste, but they’re effectively just lumps of mush to wade through. I used a spoon to get a healthy dosage and that’s when it hit me: rice pudding. Between the lumpy carbs, the vanilla, milk, sugar, and the cinnamon my family uses in its recipe, we’re just a raisin or two away from rice pudding right now. There’s even something eggy to it, a quality first noted by my buddy Dubba of On Second Scoop, with which I have to agree.

I actually started to enjoy the shake once I remembered how much I like rice pudding, but it’s a flawed shake that doesn’t taste enough like its cereal namesake.

In summary, I went with the Pepperoni Lover’s personal pan pizza at Pizza Hut.

Rice Pudding Rating: 8 out of 10
Pizza Hut’s Personal Pan Pizzas Rating: 8.5 out of 10
Rating: 6.5 out of 10

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