Once upon a time, long before white girls were invented, it was apple cider (not pumpkin) that reigned supreme during fall.
It was a simpler time; we’d all sip apple cider, glass after glass, not understanding that each 8oz serving contained over 30g of sugar and was made with the juice of 50,000 real apples. It was so healthy cuz it was juice!
Nestle Toll House has another new break-and-bake to remind us of the good ole’ days:
New Nestle Toll House Caramel Apple Spice Cookies! The cookie dough features apple cider flavor, spices, and a caramel filling. No pumpkin spice, no pumpkin puree, or pumpkin powder.
Your move, white chicks.
Two cookies contains 160 calories and only 12g of sugar, so this is considered diet food compared to what I now know about apple cider today. I don’t even care that it doesn’t contain real apples. Instead, it contains cookies!
And caramel! ?
Just look at all that healthy caramel spewing right out of the cookie dough. I really have to hand it to Nestle Toll House and their quality control. All their break-and-bakes with filling contain the perfect amount of it.
And the caramel is easily the best part of Nestle Toll House Caramel Apple Spice cookies. Sweet, buttery, a little salty… it checks all the boxes. The description only says “caramel filling,” but I taste the slight tartness of apple in here too. It’s part traditional caramel and part Apple Cinnamon Pop-Tart filling, though the apple portion could receive more emphasis for reasons I’m about to get into.
It’s the cookie dough itself that holds these back from achieving something special. An apple cider flavor and accompanying spices are supposed to permeate the entirety of this cookie, and they do not. No real apples or apple cider are used in this recipe. The portions absent the filling just taste like plain ole’ sweet sugar cookie with some molasses. While this cookie dough is a fine cookie dough, it didn’t satisfy my craving for apple cider in cookie form.
The white girls weren’t even playing today, but they won.
Now where the f*ck is my pumpkin?
White Girls’ Score for the Day Rating: 1 out of 10
Everyone Else’s Score for the Day Rating: 0 out of 10
Overall Rating: 6.5 out of 10
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