I’ve spent so much of my life at Cinnabon that it’s reasonable to assume I’ll die there.

An excerpt from the local newspaper:

“Local Fatass Found Belly-Up at Cinnabon, His Body Bursting with Cinnamon Flavor and Icing”

The latest Toll House flavor gets me.

Nestle Toll House Cinnamon Roll Cookies

Nestle Toll House Cinnamon Roll Cookies, cookie dough bursting (bursting!) with cinnamon flavor and an icing filling. Descriptions don’t get much more graphic than that.

Now, these cookies have quite the battle in store for them. Earlier this year I reviewed Pillsbury Cinnabon Cinnamon Roll Cookies and gave them the Golden Fatass Award – a perfect 10/10, despite not having an icing packet or anything.

These cookies don’t have an icing packet either, but they don’t need it. Because there’s f*cking icing crammed inside.

Can Nestle Toll House Cinnamon Roll Cookies somehow best a perfect score?

DO NOT CONSUME RAW COOKIE DOUGH, they joke on the package.

And oh boy, these cookies may never see the light of your oven. The cookie dough is splendidly Cinnabon, with little pockets of crunchy cinnamon that taste like cinnamon streusel. Like, if Cinnamon Toast Crunch were a cookie dough, it would be all like: “Hey… you should really try that Nestle Toll House Cinnamon Roll Cookie Dough. It’s so good.” 

I couldn’t discern the finer elements of the icing filling as I was poisoning myself with salmonella, but I’m confident it contributes to the cookie dough’s overall sweetness.

A beautiful biscuity scent greets you out of the oven, accented by cinnamon of course.

Biting the edges was standard Nestle Toll House fare – a crisp, gritty outer ring with much more chewiness toward the center. Plenty of cinnamon and a hint of molasses come through in a highly satisfying way. One thing I noticed is that I preferred the thicker texture of the Pillsbury Cinnabon Cookies. It worked a little better for a cinnamon roll interpretation, but this is undeniably a great balance of cinnamon & sugar.

The icing filling, more accurately a sweet cream filling, is the gooey prize in the center. But honestly it doesn’t elevate these as much as it should. The filling is made with cream cheese, so I was hoping it would provide more contrast than I could detect. This is another area where a thicker cookie would have proved beneficial.

No mistake, though, Nestle Toll House Cinnamon Roll Cookies taste spectacular and you should buy them immediately. Just don’t be surprised if you never even bake them.

“Local Fatass Admitted to Hospital with Salmonella Poisoning, Smiling” 

Bursting Rating: 8 out of 10
Cinnamon Salmonella Rating: 10 out of 10
Overall Rating: 8.5 out of 10

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