Ohhh how I love a big ole’ bowl of “f*ck you” to start your day…
Lucky Charms Frosted Flakes is here, and surely you’re as confused as you are erect.
General Mills makes Lucky Charms. Kellogg’s makes Frosted Flakes. Why would two competing breakfast cereal brand collaborate, you ask?
Well, they wouldn’t… and they didn’t.
You see what happened was, “Frosted Flakes” is too generic a term to be trademarked. Kellogg’s has a trademark on “Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes™,” but not “Frosted Flakes”, so General Mills swooped right in and made their own frosted flakes.
You think they stopped there? General Mills even chose an all blue box with white typeface – just like Kellogg’s version. I really have a hard time believing that this wasn’t an intentional, calculated middle finger aimed in Kellogg’s direction.
General Mills Lucky Charms Frosted Flakes combines sugar-frosted corn flakes with Lucky Charms marshmallows and a hint of tiger’s blood, because General Mills absolutely EVISCERATED Tony the Tiger when they produced this cereal.
GM’s Frosted Flakes don’t taste exactly like Kellogg’s, nor did they have to. These taste more like Corn Flakes that you straight murdered with table sugar rather than Tony’s patented recipe. The pieces are a little more rounded than the original, but share a similar crisp, tight crunch. It may be a little less thunderous, but that’s okay too.
The Lucky Charms Marshmallows are the best-tasting in the game. Never trust a person that tries to tell you all cereal marshmallows are created equal. Lucky Charms Frosted Flakes really showcases how much these magical little sugar pillows can elevate any cereal, and probably anything…period.
When Kellogg’s tried their hand at Frosted Flakes with Marshmallows, the marshmallows’ taste was difficult to distinguish against the sugary corn flakes. Redundant.
With Lucky Charms Frosted Flakes, the marshmallow shine. Scratch that… they soar. They are vanilla crack cocaine – the addictive prize you’ll hunt for in sea of sweetened corn flakes that just so happen to taste good too. Even if the Frosted Flakes lag behind the original to a small degree, the marshmallows obliterate Tony’s.
Do I like Lucky Charms Frosted Flakes more than the original Lucky Charms? Man… I’m not sure, but it’s real close. I could see myself switching it up between the two pretty happily, because they’re similar but just different enough to appreciate both.
I am certain of one thing, though… Tony got slaughtered.
Trademark Law Rating: 3 out of 10
“They’r-r-rrre Assholes!” Rating: 10 out of 10
Overall Rating: 9.5 out of 10
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