REVIEW: Ranking All Halo Top Flavors
*Updated March 2019 with new Halo Top Strawberry Cheesecake! ATTN: Half-naked women of social media! Hi there! You probably stumbled upon this article whilst on an elliptical operating in a legendary...
Category: Health Food Reviews
REVIEW: Nabisco Sweet Potato Good Thins
The Wheat Thin is truly one of a kind. And then one day it wasn’t. Over the last few years, Wheat Thins have been introduced in a dizzying number of...
REVIEW: D’s Naturals Fluffbutter (Every Damn One)
I sure hope whoever said peanut butter contains “healthy” fats was right, because tonight I’m going to feast on a lot of fat: D’s Natural Fluffbutter is one of several protein-infused...
REVIEW: OhYeah! ONE Chocolate Birthday Cake
If you’ve been following my expeditious descent into obesity, you’re aware that I consumed OhYeah! ONE Birthday Cake bars for about 3 months straight to pretend I still had a...
REVIEW (x2): Nature Valley Biscuits with Peanut Butter & Nature Valley Biscuits with Almond Butter
People often ask me in that dream I had once, “What’s the best part about running a hugely popular food blog?” Is it giving people something to smile over while...
REVIEW: Rocky Road Quest Bar
*UPDATE: The Roady Road Quest Bar is here! The review that follows was published on April 29, 2016 when the bar was available exclusively to Quest Lab members. The bar is now...
REVIEW: Blueberry Muffin Quest Bar
*UPDATE*: The Blueberry Muffin Quest Bar is finally here! The review that follows was published on April 27, 2016 when the bar was available exclusively to Quest Lab members. The bar can...
REVIEW: Quest Beyond Cereal Protein Bars
*Updated 14 November 2016: The review that follows was prepared when these bars were introduced as “Quest Protein Crunch Bars,” available to members of Quest Labs. Three of the bars...
REVIEW: Fiber One 90 Calorie S’mores Bars
A famous food blogger once wrote: “Marshmallows taste like poop.” (Junk Male, 2015) Tonight, a famous food blogger is going to eat marshmallows in order to poop. Introducing Fiber One 90 Calorie S’mores...
REVIEW: Dannon Oikos Red Velvet Cake
There is something wrong with all of us. Why can’t we just let yogurt be yogurt? Adding fruit is one thing. Fruit is healthy. Yogurt is healthy. Add all the fruit you...
REVIEW (x3): Chef Robert Irvine’s Fit Elite Birthday Cake, Fit Elite Cookie Dough, Fit Elite Cookies ‘N’ Cream
After reviewing nearly 40 different protein bars and over 10 different Oreos in Junk Banter’s short life, it doesn’t take an Arnold Schwarzenegger to see that my fitness has reached an Elite level. My...
REVIEW: Buff Bake Birthday Cake
Raise your hand if you eat vanilla frosting straight out of the jar. As I look out towards the audience of nobody reading this, I can only imagine that some people would...
