This “freezing your Pop Tarts” shit as officially gone on for too long…

Good Humor Pop Tarts Bars

Oh, I don’t know mean that freezing your Pop Tarts doesn’t make them taste good. I mean quite literally, if you freeze them for too long, they apparently turn into Good Humor Bars…

Description (via Good Humor): Bringing together the magic of two magical brands, Pop-Tarts and Good Humor, this is a classic ice cream on a stick dessert that you can enjoy without guilt, and share with your kids and grand kids knowing it’s the real thing, from a name you can trust.

Why are they trying so hard to sell me that this is real?

Good Humor Pop Tarts Bars only come in one flavor: Brown Sugar Cinnamon.

The bars are made in the same exact fashion as the classic Strawberry Shortcake, Chocolate Eclair, and Toasted Almond bars that are staples of the ice cream truck. Good Humor refers to the outside as their signature “cake coating” (sadly, these don’t use crushed up Pop Tarts). The inside appears to be brown sugar cinnamon frozen dairy dessert layered with some vanilla frozen dairy dessert, though the description only mentions the brown sugar cinnamon.

What these do: Give me all the nostalgia of eating Good Humor Bars off the ice cream truck.

What these do not: Remind me of Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tarts.

Sorry to say, folks. Good Humor Pop Tarts Bars are a big time let down. I get a little burst of sweetened cinnamon in the beginning, but it’s immediately followed by the flavor of “freezer burn” and followed immediately by the flavor of “wooden popsicle stick.”

The light cinnamon flavor  just isn’t strong enough to overcome the shortcoming of a cheap frozen dairy dessert. A big problem here is that there are at least a billion better cinnamon ice cream products on the market. And even comparing it directly to its peers, it’s easily the worst of the Good Humor Bars ranking far behind Toasted Almond, Strawberry Shortcake, Chocolate Eclair, Oreo, Reese’s and Birthday Cake.

This is all a shame, because there is some beautiful branding here and it would appear to be a match made in Heaven.

But in this instance… frozen Pop Tarts can go to Hell.

Burning Questions:

1. Why didn’t they do the S’mores Pop Tart? Probably too similar to Chocolate Eclair.
2. Which Good Humor product would make the best Pop Tart? Toasted Almond.
3. Which would make the worst? Wooden Stick Pop Tarts

Place of Purchase: Redner’s Markets

Rating: 4 out of 10

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