Using only the finest fruit from the sacred Pop-Tart tree, Kellogg’s has created an entire fruit salad worth of new Pop-Tarts:

Let’s face it: we all need to get ourselves back in shape after the All-You-Can-Eat Lockdown Buffet that was 2020. Exercise is great, but like the old saying goes: you can’t out-run a year’s worth of GrubHub in one week. The best way to make long-lasting changes to your diet? Add some fruit!

Look, it’s not MY fault that all the ripest fruit in the store happen to be Pop-Tarts. I’m just out here trying my damn best like the rest of us, and my local groceries are stocked to the brims with juicy new fruit-filled Pop-Tarts. Lemons, bananas, peaches, mangoes… you name it. (That’s it, that’s all of them).

And sure, they’re flavored like dessert in a pastry that’s already dessert, but we all gotta start somewhere… GET OFF MY DAMN BACK!

Today’s review is part of a series. Today’s new fruit-flavored Pop-Tart is:

Kellogg’s Banana Creme Pie Pop-Tarts

Few, if any, Pop-Tarts have made more sense design-wise than the new Banana Creme Pie Pop Tarts. A Pop-Tart pastry sans filling and icing is basically your run-of-the-mill pie crust – the same which you’d see featured in a banana creme pie. Then the rest is just banana filling, which in theory should work pretty well as a Pop-Tart filling. No rocket science or convoluted lab experiment here, like when we had A&W Root Beer Pop-Tarts.

Also I’m not sure any Pop-Tarts smells as strongly like the advertised flavor than these.

As I take a bite, I’m left with one conclusion: you must be a lover of all things banana to even entertain the idea of liking these.

The Kellogg’s Banana Creme Pie Pop-Tarts somehow taste equally of actual banana and artificial banana. On the one hand, I taste banana creme pie. On the other hand, it tastes like banana Runts were thrown in the mix. They used banana powder in the recipe, but I’m pretty sure you can’t powder a banana? So I have no idea what the hell is going on.

All I know is the end result is polarizing.

Warming them up is a mixed bag too; the filling starts to taste more artificial but the crust tastes better than before.

Ultimately, I don’t care much for these. I can’t think of a single Pop-Tart currently on the market that I’d rank below these, which is saying something. Yet, I’m pretty sure banana lovers will celebrate the first banana-flavored Pop-Tart in over a decade.

Burning Questions:

1. I’m still trying to wrap my head around banana powder. You and me both.
2. Did you try them frozen? Don’t be ridiculous; my freezer is for Oreos.
3. Wait, some people actually like banana Runts? Hey, God liked to get drunk too…

Place of Purchase: Sent to me by Kellogg’s (Walmart exclusive)

Rating: 5 out of 10

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