To be perfectly honest I already didn’t know what was in my Pop-Tarts, but now what the hell am I supposed to think?

Kellogg’s Mister E Pop-Tarts

For the first time ever, Pop-Tarts has a mystery flav… *sigh* …  a MISTER E flavor.

Description via Kellogg’s: A masked culprit broke into the Pop-Tarts factory and created a mysterious, delicious new flavor. Don’t worry, Mister E, a world class investigator and title character on the new Mister E Pop-Tarts box, is on the case. And what’s a mystery without some sleeting and a little friendly competition?

Description via Junk Banter: What in the actual f*ck is going on here?!

Kellogg’s wants fans to join Mister E by sharing their best flavor guesses on these limited edition Pop-Tarts for a chance to win prizes. You can scan the QR code on his stupid sunglasses to take you directly to the entry site, follow the clues, and submit your guess.

It’s a junk food blogger’s nightmare, because every time you try to take a picture of them, a pop-up for the website appears.

I’ve been to the website 100 times already.

Once you take a bite of the Kellogg’s Mister E Pop Tarts, there’s one thing that’s no mystery at all. Kellogg’s is punking us hard. Not only are the Pop-Tarts disgusting, but you just bought SIXTEEN of them.

So why are they disgusting? Because they taste like freaking garlic. No, that’s NOT an exaggeration, because the ingredient list clearly confirms garlic powder. GROSS.

Is that not enough? Well maybe you’ll like the dried onions they used to make these too.

Once you realize that yes, that’s actually happening, it’s impossible to think of anything else and impossible to enjoy the Mister E Pop-Tarts.

So the only thing left to do with these dreadful things is try and correctly guess what the flavor is and maybe win…oh I don’t know, a Chinese finger trap? I’m sure they’re going to punk us on the prizes too. They already have our money; might as well take our dignity too.

We know garlic and onion and salt for sure. At first I was inclined to say pizza, but there’s no actual cheese ingredients here so the cheese would have to be hidden in the “natural and artificial flavors” part of the ingredient list. I personally doubt they’d go that route, and I can’t really say definitively that I taste much cheese.

The only thing I can think of us is “garlic bread.”

In summary, the first ever savory Pop-Tart sucks, and Mister E can go straight to hell.

Burning Questions:

1. I think these sound good. Ok, Mister E.
2. Do they make your breath stink? Yes, after you vomit.
3. Are they better in the toaster? Depends, do you prefer hot garbage or cold garbage?

Place of Purchase: Sent to me by Kellogg’s for free (I’m NOT thanking them for this.)

Rating: 3 out of 10

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