Today we’re just gonna jam some food into some cones.

Trader Joe’s Mini Cheesecake Cones

I guess I never realized I wanted more food jammed into cones until I walked into Trader Joe’s this past week. I mean why the hell not, right? It’s something that doesn’t require much thought or explanation; food is just more fun in a cone!

I walked right to the next aisle and without blinking grabbed some corn in a cone.

Hell yeah!! That’s what I’m talking ’bout! More food in cones.

I mean if ice cream is a delicious food, and it’s even more delicious when it’s crammed down the throat of a good cone, then why shouldn’t I shove cheesecake down some cones?

Check out this week’s episode of “My Ass Doesn’t Fit Through My Front Door” after the jump.

And it’s not just some ordinary cone in these Trader Joe’s Mini Cheesecake Cones. These cones are almond florentine cookie cones, as Trader Joe’s taps into its Italian roots for the first – but not last – time of the night.

The second time has to do with the creamy cheesecake filling. There is no cream cheese in this filling, as it instead relies more on ricotta cheese (and something called quark cheese). This aligns it more with an Italian ricotta cheesecake more than it does a traditional American one. The result, unfortunately, is that this flavor doesn’t click as the “creamy cheesecake filling” you were probably expecting.

In fact, this just tastes like generically sweet frozen custard… or even just frozen icing.

None of this matters for a shit though because these almond florentine cookie cones are worth the full price of admission and more.

Trader Joe’s Mini Cheesecake Cones are bigger than the pictures do ’em justice, and thankfully much of this is due to a healthy dosage of cone. The cookie cone is thick, nutty, crumbly, syrupy, and sweet. They’re so damn good I can’t stand it.

They work well with the cold, creamy filling – even if it’s not very cheesecake-y. These are certainly better than the Trader Joe’s Hold the Cone! ice cream cones, as well as these Hold the Corn! cones that I’ve been eating between paragraphs.

The future is almond florentine cookie cones!

Burning Questions:

1. What are almond florentine cookies? God’s work.
2. What is quark? A type of fresh dairy product made by warming soured milk until the desired amount of curdling is met, and then straining it. It can then be classified as fresh acid-set cheese.
3. What is cheese? Ok, what am I dealing with here?

Place of Purchase: Trader Joe’s

Rating: 8.5 out of 10

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