I’ve spent my entire life trying to spot a unicorn, and Little Debbie is just gonna prance right in here, find thousands of them, MURDER them, and bake them?
Man, kids do the darnedest things…
Little Debbie Unicorn Cakes
I mean she already cooked up some zebras, so why the hell not, I guess…
These mythical murder cakes, though, are special for several reasons. First, they’re strawberry flavored… sparkling strawberry, to be exact. Second, they look like a finger-painting class attended by blindfolded pre-schoolers, and they’re covered with the same sparkles that I’m pretty sure strippers use as body glitter.
This makes Little Debbie Unicorn Cakes no less than a million times more fun than those dreaded Little Debbie Back to School Cakes.
Pretty amazing that Debbie was able to include enough strawberry to mask all that horse meat flavor.
In case you were wondering, unicorns are just as dry and rubbery as zebras are. They’re also just as waxy and are also slightly oily. But they are loaded with sugar, and I would be disingenuous if I suggested that I didn’t still enjoy them despite their obvious shortcomings.
Because I am human trash.
BUT there is just enough strawberry flavoring to make these more unique and slightly preferable to the normal cakes. The cake tastes like a lightly flavored strawberry pound cake of sorts. It’s difficult to tell if the purple unicorn guts inside taste any different than Debbie’s regular cream, but I suspect they don’t.
I’m also 100% certain these taste identical to the strawberry’s Mother’s Day Cakes, but my Mom doesn’t have a horn sticking out of her forehead so I guess they are different.
Like all unicorn products, this is about a 7 out of 10 product that little kids and unicorn-obsessed lunatics will rate a Million out of 10.
By the way, these limited edition cakes are sold in extremely limited quantities at select Walmarts, so just like real unicorns… you’ll never find them.
Trying to Find a Unicorn Rating: 0 out of 10
Getting Diabetes From One Anyway Rating: 1 out of 10
Overall Rating: 7 out of 10
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