What is it with us and our obsession with eating tiny food?
I mean seriously… why is this video of a man cooking a microscopic cheeseburger so unbelievably satisfying to watch, and how does it have over 3 million views?
“Kawaii cooking”, which I’m pretty sure translates to “cooking for ants”, first became popular in Japan but has since swept the universe. I’ve watched the videos, and like… I GET it, but I don’t get it.
Is it because deep down we all want to feel like giants? Or am I just fascinated by this man cutting a tiny onion with miniature cutlery and surgical precision because I can’t even chop a regular onion without crying and sometimes bleeding? Could it be that I’m jealous because this man possesses a level of control over his food (and probably his life) that I can’t possibly fathom while I’m eating a slice of cake over and sometimes out of a garbage can?
I once tried to make tea in the microwave, but forgot to put water in my cup so I essentially just lit a tea bag on fire, and this man is cooking raw meat over what I assume is a candle.
So make no mistake about it, I am enamored with these new Kawaii Pop Tart Bites.
Kellogg’s Pop Tarts Bites
Kellogg’s Pop Tart Bites are mini filled pastry bites that are already baked and not meant to be toasted. You could probably toast them, but I don’t own a kawaii toaster oven and therefore am positive that I would burn the daylight out of them.
Before you @ me with “these rnt new”, let’s take a stroll down Pop Tart memory lane. Somewhere between the Pop Tarts Mini Crisps, Pop Tarts Popsters, Pop Tarts Go Tarts, Pop Tarts Snak-Stix, the old Pop Tarts Cereal, the new Pop Tarts Cereal, there were once Pop Tarts Minis in Frosted Strawberry, Frosted Chocolate, and Frosted Grape.
Almost 25 years later, Pop Tarts Minis are back as “Pop Tarts Bites” in Frosted Strawberry, Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon, Frosted Chocolatey Fudge, and Frosted Confetti Cake.
Pop Tarts Bites Frosted Strawberry
The Pop Tarts Bites come six to a pouch at 150 calories total.
Through my small sample size of two opened pouches, I can confirm that they are frosted just as drunkenly as the regular sized Pop Tarts, so the authenticity factor is through the roof.
Yep, that’s a mini Pop Tart alright!
Pop Tarts Bites Frosted Strawberry has all the signature flavor of the original despite its short list of differences. The dough tastes as it always does, but here it is softer, chewier, and perhaps a little more airy. There are no crisp edges like the original, and it’s a little dry as usual.
Best as I can tell, the filling is the same strawberry stuff as the original. Ratio-wise, I think there may be less filling-to-dough than the original but I still taste it prominently enough.
The only bummer is when you get one with less frosting (this is true of regular Pop Tarts as well). But the fact that several of mine in the picture above contained next-to-nothing on the frosting front, this gets a knock against for quality control.
Overall Rating: 7 out of 10
Pop Tarts Bites Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon
Through two bags, Kellogg’s Pop Tart Bites Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon were all frosted consistently (and sometimes completely), so the eye test puts them ahead.
Copy and paste the paragraph about the dough from up above, then figure out if you prefer the strawberry filling or brown sugar cinnamon filling, and then buy that one.
I guess this is the first time I’ve really sat down and had to pick a favorite between these classic flavors, but here goes. While I really like the combination of pastry dough and fruit more often than not, the brown sugar cinnamon filling is pretty special and I think I take it for granted sometimes. I don’t need to describe it in detail because I KNOW you’ve had it, but the balance of sugar & spice in the filling plus the onslaught of additional sugar in the frosting better compensates for the weaknesses in the dough itself.
Overall Rating: 8 out of 10
Pop Tarts Bites Frosted Chocolate Fudge
The Frosted Chocolatey Fudge Pop Tarts are a flavor that probably get overlooked by many, so now is as good a time as any to reacquaint.
One part floury and two parts cocoa-y, this flavor certainly has everything you’ve come to love about Pop Tarts with an emphasis on chocolate. The filling is sweet but totally not overbearing. There’s even a noticeable dash of salt that I quite enjoy.
The only thing I’ll say is that this flavor in normal Pop Tart form really benefits from being toasted, what with all that warm and gooey chocolate coming to life. These portable, pouched Pop Tarts Bites, however, aren’t meant for the toaster oven.
But like… you should probably toast them anyway.
Overall Rating: 7 out of 10
Pop Tarts Mini Bites Frosted Confetti Cake
There’s a really interesting, somewhat peculiar naming quirk with these new Frosted Confetti Cake Pop Tarts Bites. Kellogg’s recently brought back Confetti Cupcake Pop Tarts, but these Pop Tarts Bites have dropped the “cup” from the name; they’re just Confetti Cake. I would think this would be reversed, if anything, and I highly doubted they would taste any different.
But somehow, they do taste different! And not only do they taste different, these are much better than its full-on Pop Tart comp, and also the best Pop Tarts Bites in the entire lineup.
I’m comparing these directly to the Frosted Chocolate Fudge ‘Bites right now, and the Confetti Cake ‘Bites are bigger. Additionally, they’re crispier and less doughy – perhaps even having more filling. They definitely taste less dry and I swear to you, they taste more like traditional vanilla cake frosting than the Frosted Confetti Cupcake Pop Tarts do.
I love these A LOT, and you need to buy them.
Overall Rating: 9.5 out of 10
Summary
In summary, I think these have been out like 100 times already.
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How long before they just sell jars of Pop-Tart filling as a spread? Imagine the brown sugar cinnamon smeared on a cookie…
Thanks for taking these on – you going to do the thin crisps next?
“I can confirm that they are frosted just as drunkenly as the regular sized Pop Tarts” hands down one of the best comments I have seen.