“Artificially flavored pudding.”
UHHH YEAH, NO SHIT!
Snack Pack Unicorn Magic
It’s been almost three years, but this unicorn trend just keeps plopping right along and glopping into our laps with this new Snack Pack Unicorn Magic pudding.
At no point on the package does it give any tangible indication what Unicorn Magic is supposed to taste like, but it does tell you a bunch of bullshit… wanna hear some of it?
- Tastes like joy and rainbow sparkles.
- Made with star dust.
- Made with fairy dust and princesses kisses.
Those actual quotes are the only insight offered, and I really have no idea what to think.
There are two colors – bubble gum pink and Papa Smurf blue – but again there is no indication whether both colors are the same flavor or two completely different flavors.
There is only one thing I am certain of…
It looks like unicorn jizz.
I got a load of the pink first and any questions I had about their flavor were immediately erased.
COTTON. F’N. CANDY!
This tastes so much like cotton candy that I can’t stand it, and I actually mean this in the best way possible. Spot on cotton candy flavor, maybe cut with a little vanilla, in such a way that it reminds me of the filling to Cotton Candy Oreos.
Which were only my favorite Oreos of all-time.
Let’s see if the blue tastes just as good, or if it’s a new flavor…
Hopefully this one is the princess kisses, know what I’m sayin’? ?
So blue is the same cotton candy flavor, but I like it less because I do think there’s this tiny bitter component that I attribute to this particular food dye. If you’ve ever used too much food coloring in a recipe and got that slightly bitter extra bite, then you know what I’m talking about. It’s a very, very minor issue here though.
Now I won’t go nuts and say this is the perfect snack or anything because I do think pudding is kind of stupid, but this is a great Snack Pack for cotton candy lovers.
There’s also an added bonus with Unicorn Magic Snack Pack. Inside each package are two unicorn tattoos:
Now you probably expected me to model these two new unicorn tattoos on my face or something, but I just checked the instructions and don’t have the baby oil or rubbing alcohol to remove the tattoo on hand. And sadly… I have work tomorrow.
But rest assured… there will be a unicorn tattooed on my dick in the near future.
Burning Questions:
- Is it even big enough to fit the tattoo? Barely.
- Will this unicorn trend ever end? Not as long as little girls continue to exist.
- WHERE’S MY SNACK PACK?! You got a banana; you don’t need no Snack Pack.
Place of Purchase: Target/Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
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