For those situations where… ya know, the pantry is just like… a little closer than the freezer. 🤷♂️
Kellogg’s Eggo Frosted Maple Pop Tarts
In case you don’t pay attention to who makes what in the grocery store, Kellogg’s makes pretty much everything you eat for breakfast. This includes both Pop-Tarts and Eggo Waffles – two of the most convenient, laziest, glorious things your fat ass consumes on a daily basis. And for the first time ever, those two things have been merged into one thing with Kellogg’s Eggo Frosted Maple Pop-Tarts.
According to Kellogg’s, the new Pop-Tarts are made with a maple-flavored filling, a buttery-yellow crust, and a white icing coating topped with yellow-string icing that is meant to remind you of your favorite waffle.
The first thing you’ll notice is that they really went all-in to color these yellow. It would be a bit off-putting if that weren’t exactly what we were accustomed to seeing in Eggo waffles. So, I’ll give some points to Kellogg’s for stylistic authenticity rather than blasting them for making them look like pee-pee Pop-Tarts.
Unfortunately, that’s where the awarding of points stops.
That’s because, unfortunately, Kellogg’s Eggo Frosted Maple Pop-Tarts taste like nothing.
While I suspected the “waffle” flavor would be tough to replicate, I’m amazed at how little the maple flavoring comes through. Of course there is some sweetness in the filling, but I would never in a million years be able to tell that it was supposed to be maple syrup. And while there’s no actual maple syrup in the recipe, I’ve had plenty of genuine-tasting artificial maple flavorings in the past. This shouldn’t have been that hard.
Toasting them provides the tiniest upgrade – only because the toasted pastry dough has more flavor than untoasted pastry dough. I truly can’t get over how hilariously unflavored these Eggo Pop-Tarts are. It honestly tastes like you’re just eating Pop-Tart crust the whole time.
Like Pop-Tart-flavored Pop Tarts.
Burning Questions:
- Did you hear about that workers’ strike? The person who flavors them was clearly on strike.
- Did you try them frozen? No, do you eat Eggo waffles frozen?
- Sometimes when I’m drunk. Ok, same.
Place of Purchase: Walmart
Rating: 3 out of 10
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Nothing at all? Hopefully not a COVID symptom.
Well played.