REVIEW: Brightside Skittles
Darkside Skittles were discontinued in 2015, but look on the bright side… I kind of dread these reviews. Accurately breaking down Skittles flavors is challenging. Sure, there is a point or two that...
Author: Junk Male
REVIEW: Trader Joe’s Sticky Pumpkin Cake with Hard Sauce
I need an adult, I need an adult! Trader Joe’s Sticky Pumpkin Cake with Hard Sauce makes me uncomfortable on multiple levels. This product is filled with so many sexual innuendos...
REVIEW: Girl Scout S’mores Cookies (The Chocolatey Coated One)
I won’t pretend for a second that I know what the Girl Scouts actually do. Here’s what they do according to Wikipedia (with an addendum by Junk Banter): “The Girl Scouts...
REVIEW: Ben & Jerry’s Confetti Cake Ice Cream
Like clockwork. Earlier this year, Ben & Jerry’s released Cake My Day ice cream – vanilla cake batter ice cream, vanilla cake pieces, buttercream frosting, and a raspberry swirl. I really...
REVIEW: Trader Joe’s Mango O’s
Cereal Chatter. Are you the type to put fruit in your morning cereal to make it a more nutritious breakfast? I was never that type. “What is this, salad?” The only...
REVIEW: General Mills Cinnamon Star Crunch
I trust you’ve heard about Christmas miracles. Well, today I discuss a Christmas tragedy. For some unthinkable, horrible, bullshit reason, General Mills has replaced life-changing Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch with this...
REVIEW: Godiva Birthday Cake Truffles
Happy Birthday! Today is your birthday, right? It’s not? Oh. Well that’s too bad. I bought these Godiva Birthday Cake Truffles just for you. But since it’s not your birthday,...
REVIEW: Pepperidge Farm Toasted Marshmallow Milano Cookies
That feeling when you’re making s’mores but you’re too lazy to finish. Pepperidge Farm Toasted Marshmallow Milano Cookies could have been S’mores Milanos. They could have used graham flavored cookies and...
REVIEW: Sara Lee Pumpkin Creme Flaky
A pumpkin creme flaky what, a pumpkin creme flaky what?! Sara Lee Pumpkin Creme Flaky is a new product that they forgot to finish naming. “Flaky” is an adjective, after...
REVIEW: Hostess Hot Cocoa & Marshmallow Donettes
Winter is coming. It’s getting colder, and you wanna stay warm. Here are your best options: Drink hot cocoa constantly. Get fatter so you don’t even notice. Hostess has developed something...
REVIEW: Entenmann’s Pumpkin Muffins Little Bites
Recent studies suggest that eating smaller bites of food may boost satiety and satisfaction. Soooo… These Entenmann’s Pumpkin Muffins Little Bites will be my first official crack at this theory. I...
REVIEW: Ranking All Halo Top Flavors
*Updated March 2019 with new Halo Top Strawberry Cheesecake! ATTN: Half-naked women of social media! Hi there! You probably stumbled upon this article whilst on an elliptical operating in a legendary...
