Haha, this is the cutest little regicide attempt I’ve ever seen.
Cheez-It is stealing a page from the Lay’s “Do Us A Flavor“ competition with one of their own: “Cheez-It You Choose the Champion.” Basically we have to eat three flavors of cheese and then choose our “champion” by voting for one of Cheez-It Cheese Pizza, Cheez-It Cheeseburger, or Cheez-It Cheddar Nachos.
Of course the true champion, or should I say The King, was never in question. That title belongs to my favorite junk food in all of existence: Extra Toasty Cheez-It. Plain Cheez-Its are already amazing, but Extra Toasty? They’re perfectly salted and burnt a little extra, the best way to consume cheese in my book.
Just to put into perspective how perfect I think Extra Toasty Cheez-Its are, I once got a couple of batches that were a little… defective. Here’s how I responded:
Cheez-It Cheese Pizza
First up is Cheez-It Cheese Pizza, the one that should be easiest to pull off. Just add some herbs and tomato powder to some Cheez-Its, right? Touchdown.
Unfortunately, Cheez-It Cheese Pizza fails to deliver within the 30-minute window. The main problem is very uneven seasoning, with most of the Cheez-Its being underseasoned. The few that are browned with seasoning highlight their potential – sufficiently tomato with traces of oregano and onion powder. But many of them are pretty bare, and the result tastes like that last bite of pizza near the edge with not enough sauce and barely any cheese left. Also, the pizza is Ellio’s.
Curiously, these use white cheddar and regular cheddar cheese but no mozzarella. Apparently they don’t have confidence in their very own Italian Four Cheese Cheez-Its, which does have mozzarella.
These taste like pizza crust more than anything else.
Ellio’s Pizza When You’re a Kid Rating: 9 out of 10
Ellio’s Pizza When You’re an Adult Rating: 4 out of 10
Overall Rating: 6.5 out of 10
Cheez-It Cheese Cheeseburger
Next out of the tunnel is Cheez-It Cheeseburger. These scare the shit out of me because of the retired Cheeseburger Goldfish, which had a meat patty-flavored cracker, which I don’t want to talk about anymore.
Luckily the meat component doesn’t receive much emphasis here. Instead, it’s mustard, ketchup, pickles, and onions. More mustard than ketchup. Really, Cheez-It Cheeseburger tastes a lot like a McDonald’s Cheeseburger. It’s an uncanny resemblance, right down to the fact that there’s hardly any meat.
It’s impressive, but the flavor does ware on you after a while. Condiments and toppings can only take you so far.
A McDonald’s Cheeseburger Without Fries Rating: 7 out of 10
A McDonald’s Cheeseburger Without the Toy Rating: 2 out of 10
Overall Rating: 7.5 out of 10
Cheez-It Cheddar Nachos
The final attempter murderer is Cheez-It Cheddar Nachos.
They really could have gone a number of different ways for “nachos.” What I gather is that they went with a slight peppery element, like the jalapeños atop said nachos. Maybe even a chipotle. The cheese is also more sophisticated than that of regular Cheez-Its – something leaning towards a spicy queso dip. The onion powder works enough for the diced onion atop your nachos too. There’s no beef or chicken or any other attempt at meat here, and that’s probably for the best. I enjoy these quite a bit.
All of that said, there’s something a little too “familiar” about Cheese-It Cheddar Nachos. They’re almost like a less bold version of the Cheez-It Grooves Hot & Spicy Cheddar. This didn’t stop me from eating a LOT of them.
Nachos Without Any Protein Rating: 7 out of 10
Nachos In a Box Rating: Impossible out of 10
Overall Rating: 7.5 out of 10
Ha! It’s a tie at the top between Cheeseburger and Cheddar Nachos. I don’t even have to pick a Champion…
Long live Extra Toasty Cheez-Its!!!
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Cheeseburger has my vote but you’re right extra toasty over everything????
I think we’re in the same boat Kelly! Even though I gave a tie, I’d probably vote for Cheeseburger if forced to. It’s just more novel and therefore a better addition to the lineup than Cheddar Nachos. Extra Toasty for life!!
The facebook comment box is not visible. Just letting u know. Anyways cheez it could experiment with other flavors for extra toasty line.
Thanks, Alek. Fixed the Facebook comments. Extra Toasty doesn’t need to be touched, ever.
Maybe I got a bad batch? I finally tried the extra toasty after listening to the Nosh Show and I was not impressed. Now I gotta try again!
How do you feel about regular Cheez-Its, Lindsay? I’m a big fan to begin with, and the Extra Toasty is saltier and more refined and Extra Wonderful.
I do like regular Cheez-its, but to be fair, I’m probably not as into them as you are! ha
What store did you get these at? I can’t find them anywhere
Walmart, Target, Walgreen’s, and Wegman’s are some stores in my are that carry these.
Cheeseburger is my favorite it is better than the goldfish ones by far 100%
What flavor won?
I don’t think they’ve announced the winner just yet!