The season of love is upon us, so I ask… what is love to you? The word can mean many things to many different people. Is it the butterflies in your stomach when your significant other looks you square in the eyes? Is it being inspired to be the best possible version of yourself because of your passion for one another? Is it Cinnamon Bun Oreos? If you ask 9 out of 10 Pat Benatars, love is a battlefield. So tonight we will be declaring a war between two Valentine’s Day themed Peeps: Cherry Cordial Delight Peeps and Strawberry Creme Peeps.

Now Peeps, if you recall, are terrible. Sorry to be so blunt, but it’s just how I feel. Even when done right the sugar overload just makes me grow tired of Peeps very quickly. But even the ugliest of ducklings deserve a bit of lovin’ every now and then, so let’s just… get this over with, I guess. You can buy both Cherry Cordial Delight Peeps and Strawberry Creme Peeps in the Valentine’s Day section at Target if you really want to offend your significant other, or just punish yourself. We shall handicap our 0-10 rating scale as follows:

0: Repulsive Even by Peeps Standards
5: Normal Peeps (Terrible)
10: As Good As It Gets If You’re Going to Eat Peeps

Cherry Cordial Delight Peeps

If you haven’t already left the blog because you don’t care about Peeps, I’ll have you know that these Cherry Cordial Delight Peeps smell decently appetizing. A sweet chocolatey aroma with a muted cherry cordial syrup scent. Pretty spot-on to the name. Cherry Cordial Delight Peeps are dipped in dark chocolate, but the chocolate scent is sweeter than it is bitter. The actual marshmallow tastes mostly like nothing; certainly not cherry, but the faintest bit of tart is all I could detect. The dark chocolate combined with the marshmallow is much more satisfying and when things started to shape up. The base of the Cherry Cordial Delight Peep is where I detected all of the cherry cordial flavor. The dark chocolate keeps the Cherry Cordial Delight Peep from being cloying, thankfully. Chocolate saves the day again. These weren’t Cherry M&M’s good because they’re Peeps for Christ’s sake, but I enjoyed eating the butts off all three.

I Liked… The… Butts And I Cannot Lie Rating: 6.5 out of 10
You Other Brothers Can’t Deny Rating: 6.5 out of 10
Overall Rating: 6.5 out of 10

Strawberry Creme Peeps

Strawberry Creme Peeps are strawberries & cream flavored marshmallows that are dipped in milk chocolate. These don’t smell as strong nor as appetizing as Cherry Cordial Delight Peeps. The flavor, however, is decisively better. I’m taken aback, but the marshmallow itself has an applaud-worthy, realistic strawberry flavor. I kind of regret opening so harshly, but these Strawberry Creme Peeps are the exception and not the rule. The flavor reminds me of those strawberry hard candies in your Grandma’s candy dish, combined with a velvety vanilla creaminess. The tart berry is pervasive and keeps the two and a half teaspoons of sugar per Peep in check. The milk chocolate offers a slight boost but was the weakest element of the Strawberry Creme Peep. I can’t help but wonder if white chocolate would have been the better route here to give these a whipped cream & berries flavor, but I’m going to give this one its due. If you’re going to half-ass your Valentines Day and surprise her with Peeps, go with Strawberry Creme Peeps.

She’s Definitely Going to Be Mad Regardless Rating: 8 out of 10
Weirdness of Everything in Grandma’s Candy Dish Rating: 9.5 out of 10
Overall Rating: 8.5 out of 10 (FOR PEEPS)

BONUS! I had some Red Velvet Peeps lying around from Christmas that I never got around to. Here’s my review:

Red Velvet Peeps