New Freeze Pop Skittles are here, and right now my brain is frozen just wondering…

Who the heck would want a grape freeze pop?!

Freeze Pop Skittles

The new mix is tucked away somewhere in the jam-packed aisles of Dollar General. The flavors included are grape, lemon, orange, strawberry, and blue raspberry. If the first four flavors sound familiar to you, that’s because they’re all the same fruits in the classic, red-packaged original Skittles Mix.

Presumably, however, these are designed after the clear-tubed freezer ice pops… you know, the ones that look like highlighter fluid that we have to freeze ourselves before they actually become freeze pops.

I grew up sucking these suckers down on hot summer days, with the lone exception of the grape flavor. I distinctly remember avoiding grape because at any given time, you could find a whole cluster of nothing-but-grapes tucked in the back of the freezer, because me, my sisters, and all of my friends would never choose the grape one.

Call me a grape hater… I get it. Some of ya’ll out there are grape lovers, but when I was a kid?  Artificial grape was the worst flavor of anything. A common counterargument is that the grape flavor in Dimetapp is the only reason medicine was tolerable back in the day. For me? It’s the reason why I think most grape candy tastes like medicine. ??‍♂️

THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN A GREAT EXCUSE TO BRING BACK LIME AGAIN.

So my disdain for grape aside, I know what you’re all thinking:

BuT Do ThEy TaStE LiKe FrEeZe PoPs?

The answer is a resounding NO, which is why I’m renaming these the Skittles Bullshit Mix.

Yellow just tastes like the original lemon Skittle, but is lighter in color.

Orange just tastes like the original orange Skittle, but is also lighter in color.

Strawberry? Just like the original strawberry Skittle; also lighter in color.

Blue raspberry isn’t in the original mix, but probably has been in plenty of other mixes.

And grape? Tastes like fucking Dimetapp, but is white.

I guess this is what happens when we let Dollar General have things.

Burning Questions:

1. GRAPE IS THE BEST FLAVOR. No, you just suck.
2. BuT Do ThEy TaStE LiKe FrEeZe PoPs? …didn’t you read the review?
3. I did not read the review. This is exactly why you suck.

Place of Purchase: Dollar General

Rating: 3 out of 10

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