Apparently ignoring all of my literature on the subject, Hostess continues to release weird-sounding Twinkies that nobody asked for.
Hostess White Peppermint Twinkies are the latest offender, following other gross-sounding Twinkies such as (ugh) and Cheesecake Twinkies (weird!)
Twinkies and mint? The day I eat a Twinkie to freshen my breath is the day I die.
That day is today.
Hostess White Peppermint Twinkies
I know white chocolate and peppermint go together just fine, but mint and TWINKIES? It sounds about as bad as Twinkies and… well, anything, really.
The sprinkles distract from the sadness.
Look, I really don’t want to be a Twinkie-hater. Twinkies were a favorite of mine for so much of my youth. But it’s impossible to ignore their steady decline in quality over time. And truthfully? If they didn’t keep releasing these quirky flavors than I would never eat one again. But they do, constantly.
I guess Hostess really does have me by the balls.
Hostess White Peppermint Twinkies are white fudge covered sponge cakes with creamy peppermint filling. Let’s get all of the bad out of the way quickly. The cake is dry and rubbery, the fudge is waxy, and I can feel my ass grow with every single bite.
But let me give credit where credit is due. This peppermint filling is far better than gross, and it actually helps to elevate the product in more ways than expected. The peppermint flavor is subtle and smooth, combining well with the normal vanilla flavor of the cream. The mint flavor that is present is enough to cut some sweetness of the white fudge shield. The fudge provides a reciprocal affect on the mint, turning a flavor most commonly reserved for breath mints into an enjoyable whipped cream dessert. The two components even out nicely – I’ll admit it.
Limiting factor: the cake still sucks. The ceiling for a Twinkie remains low.
Eating Cake Instead of Gum Rating: 8 out of 10
Eating Twinkies Instead of Anything Else Rating: 4 out of 10
Overall Rating: 7 out of 10
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